TIME

Hello All!


Time...what an interesting concept. I have been thinking a lot about this idea in the last week or two. Since I sat down last to write, a bit of time has passed. What do we do with our time? How do we spend it? Does it make a difference what we do with it and how we choose to spend it or use it? Does it cause a change in outcome if we spend our time one way or another? I think it does.

As parents how we spend our time matters. I would like to propose that how we spend our time makes a big difference in the type of lives we give to our children and the type of people they become. I have some experience in this area. Our youngest son has finished his time at college, has graduated and is in the process of moving to New York city with a young woman he cares deeply for. It is their time. Their time now to create their lives and their plan. It has taken my husband and I a lot of time to help him get to this point. To this time in his life where he gets to decide what, where and how his life will look. The time now as my husband has shared with him is to, and I quote "It's time to pack up your shit, move to New York and get a job." Now, that is a pretty clear directive and comment on what time of life our son is in! My husband and I invested the time to help him get to this point. Time spent guiding, directing, redirecting when necessary, and lots of time spent encouraging and most importantly loving him for who he is , for what he wants, for what his dreams are. He is off to begin his life now. It is time, he is ready and the time is his now to design. He is using his time to begin his career in filmmaking.

What really matters during all the time we spend parenting? Of course all parents, good ones, have to spend time thinking about the basics that our kids need. Time spent providing a place to live, food to eat and clothes to wear. After those basics are met, what kind of time will make the greatest difference in helping our kids become competent, confident, moral, able people? Is it important to spend time cooking, cleaning, doing household chores, paying bills, going to work? Yes, because that time demonstrates how to be a responsible grown up. But, after that, what kind of time really makes a difference in determining how your child evolves and grows? I would like to suggest that time, just that, makes a big difference.

I watched the Today show the other morning and their medical correspondent, Dr. Nancy Schneiderman, was on talking about young girls and the upsetting mental illness of anorexia and bulimia. She talked about the importance of family time. The importance of time spent in simple activities like eating dinner together, having an evening conversation as a family. She spoke to the idea that kids need time with us, moments, hours to have us there to listen, to talk,to tuck them in at night. Hours, she said, hours of time given to our children to help them become whole, know their value, know we love them.

There is a new show on TV called "The Big C". This show is about a woman finding out that she has stage four melanoma. The whole premise of this show is how we choose to spend time. What would you do if you knew your time was limited, if you knew your life was going to be shorter rather than longer. How would you spend your time? What would matter, what would you do?

I would suggest that each of us as parents take the time, make the time, spend the time being present in our children's lives. Demonstrate from the very earliest stages of our their lives that they are important to us, so valuable that we choose to give them our most precious resource, time. Time to help them know they are loved, know that we believe in them. Time to help them become all that they are supposed to be and meant to be.

Who knows, when we choose to give our children the time they need to discover who they are, and support them in all they do, maybe one of them might just be in TIME magazine. Recognized as an expert in her field. Someone who has used her time to become a cheesemonger of great renown! Way to go Anne!

Until next time,

Pam