Hello All!
I seem to be spending more and more time thinking about what I want to write these days. I have been thinking about transitions and writing down ideas, and sentences and thoughts for a while. Today is the day I decided to sit down and attempt to put all of it together!
Fall... a natural transition. The time of year that we move from one season into another. A time of year when kids and families move from one grade, or school or time of life into another. A time when kids naturally move from home, to preschool to elementary school, to junior high to high school to college... and beyond! I have been thinking about this as the school year starts for me and the little ones I work with. I saw somewhere the idea that in preschool, kids are learning to do school. I think that is right. Little ones, and parents are learning how to embrace and navigate this next phase of life. Transitioning to new school and life experiences in preschool.
When you transition into preschool and all that brings, a new phase of life starts for kids and for parents. That inevitable process of letting go on the parents part. Deciding how to help your kids become able and more competent, to " fly on their own." At this time of life, kids really are looking to their parents, in my opinion, to get the validation they need that they can do this. They can go to school, and be away from their parents, and that life will be good, actually even better because of all the new and fun stuff they will get to do!
As parents, when we first drop those little ones off, it is a big transition for us as well. We all have our own feelings as we leave our kids with someone else, wave goodbye and maybe even shed a tear. I have one Mom this year who left her youngest, and boy, I know that is a new, exciting and yet hard time! Our kids are flying, they don't need us in the same ways that they have in the past. They can navigate the world around them on their terms, ready to try out this new school and all the new toys and the new kids they get to meet. Yet, this transition can be challenging for us grownups as we realize we need to figure out how to evolve and move to the next stage of parenting ourselves! I have this saying that I like to let go of my children like peeling glue off one's hand....I eventually do it, and it doesn't hurt too much, but I do it slowly! :)
Transitions in parenting occur every day and every week and every month and of course, every year. As our kids grow they need different things from us. When they are little, they need us to help with their most basic needs for survival, and they as they grow, they need us less for those needs, and more for their emotional and psychological and needs. Bigger kids, bigger problems, or as maybe the optimist in my we would say, bigger opportunities!
I watched the TV show Glee the other evening, and wrote down a thought after seeing this last episode. In the show this week a student was struggling with his true passion and his desire to pursue what he believes his life's work should be. The thing that he loves, dance, is the exact opposite of what his father loves, business. His father has given him the message that dance is fine for play, but not fine for his life work. I punched the sky and whooped when this young man's mother came to school, and watched him dance, and then told him she would help him talk to his father. Together, they would begin the process of making his father see that what is his son needs, is not what he the father needs. That will require a huge transition!
Transitions. Part of life that is always occurring. We have to transition each day from sleep to wakefulness. From morning to afternoon, from day to night. With each step of loving and parenting, we have to transition as well. How we do that make all the difference.
I am at the stage of parenting now that requires my husband and myself to transition more each day into counselor, hopefully a sage counselor, at least that is what I am attempting to become. My kids, all grownups, do not need my husband and myself to help with their basic survival. They can cover all of that on their own. Our job now is to help them as needed. Be able to provide an ear to listen, or two, depending on the situation. This transition, if you think about it, is the phase that will last the longest. As parents, we spend 18 years helping our kids get to the stage where they are able and ready to leave. Leave for college, or leave for work, or leave for the military, whatever the next transition is at that time of our kids lives. The next 70 years :) is about assisting, guiding and being there as needed. I said 70 years because of course by that time our 18 year olds would be 88! We, unless we have super bio genes, or they develop some new krio-freeze, will be long gone! My point is, that guiding, loving and being there, this is what our kids need, always. With each and every transition of our families and our kids lives and our lives, those qualities help our kids and us become who we need to be next. And, of course along the way, celebrate. Celebrate each and every transition that is made and navigated successfully!
Maybe our true purpose as parents, good parents, is to help our kids navigate all the transitions of life in the most positive, healthy, loving and successful way they can. Maybe we do that by loving unconditionally, being always present in our kids lives, filling up their buckets with good stuff, and letting them know we are there and always will be. Hmm..
I think I may be onto something. Just last night, my daughter called to chat and share that she is being asked to take on a new role at work. One that requires transitioning from educator to mentor. I am sure she is up to this task. I am sure she will navigate it well.
Learning to do new.....Transitioning. Important. Being open, making our kids able and eager to see what lies ahead and knowing they can and will figure it out ...maybe THAT is the best gift we can give our kids!
Until next time,
Pam
