Hello!!
During the past few weeks I have been traveling and goofing off! Now, it is time to get back down to the business of writing blogs..well, we will see how that goes!
I owe the title of today's blog to my husband. The concept originated from an incident with one of my daughters, who is of course a grown up. We had been talking on the phone when she had to go take another call. She was driving home from work and said she would call me back in few minutes. Well...she did not, AND that precipitated a variety of neurotic behaviors from me! I will tell you the tale.
The evening of this event, my husband and I had decided to enjoy a nice dinner at home, maybe even share a bottle of wine, and relax...well that is not exactly how our evening evolved. After not hearing from Megan, my daughter, I proceeded to see if I could contact her, figuring she just forgotten to call or maybe lost track of time, or maybe got busy doing something else. I began the process innocently enough, and with clear thought, but, as time passed and I could not get ahold of her, my mom mind began doing its tricks...you see I think mom minds can be quite challenging to live in! My husband, god bless him, has lived with me a long time...31 years to be exact, and so I could see him begin to sigh because he knew what was about to happen. I started with one phone call and a message that was intelligent and loving...then another call, still no answer. I tried hard to go on about my business of making dinner and enjoying a nice evening, I truly did, but then tried reaching Megan again, and still no luck. By this time a few hours had passed and I was beginning to be less sane. I thought rationally about all the reasons why Meg had not called...I really did. But, and here is the part that starts to create a whole landscape of it's own, my mom mind started to also envision all the other possibilities of why I could not reach Megan and the what "may" have happened events. So, most of you Moms out there will understand it when I say the night was beginning to unravel. No relaxed nice dinner now!
After I abandoned the idea that my husband and I would actually continue to create this lovely meal, well actually my husband kept trying, but am sure he was sadly realizing that I was out of reach for dinner completion until I could accomplish my mom goal of talking to my daughter! I was now in full problem solving, mom detective mode. I left her a whole bunch of phone messages, I texted and of course emailed...to no avail! I was starting to rethink my approach (DA!) and thought maybe I just had to wait and hope for the best...but did try one last thing...gmail...and VOILA! Megan was online. She of course saw that I was emailing and said "UH OH"...she having lived with me as her mother for 27 years knew what was happening, and what in all likelihood had occurred before we talked. She said online.."Oh hi Mom!...so sorry I just realized I didn't get back to you...I will call you in a minute." Well, she did call me in a minute, and of course saw that she had 12 missed calls in the last few hours while her phone was on silent because she forgot to turn the ringer on. She really did not have to look to see who the 12 missed calls were from. My husband of course was overjoyed when she and I began conversing because now he knew he would get to have what was left of a nice evening and I might even complete the lovely meal we had begun making. Megan and I had a wonderful chat that opened with her saying.." Oops, sorry Mom..did your mom mind kick in?"...again..DA..."OF COURSE IT DID!" We laughed and thankfully all was right with the world that is most important to me...my family.
Yes, I know this story is goofy and some of you may read this and say I need great psychological help. I will tell you that I already got that! I am driven most likely to a fault when it comes to my children, who no matter how old they are, are still my children. And..yes, they are all grown up and all able to take care of themselves extremely well. The bottom line though, is that when you are a parent that unnatural neurotic worry just comes with the job! I did not ask for it, I don't even want it, but it just is!
When you become a parent something happens to you. You realize that now someone else is counting on you...someone else needs you. I would hope that for most of us when we become parents we are able to make that last big step to adulthood. The step that asks us to do the right things for our kids, to try our best to love well, care for well, and teach them well. To be present and available, to demonstrate how much we love them and how very valuable they are to us throughout their lives. I continue to think that if parents take the time to try their best to consistently show their children just how valued they are, that our kids will be able to go out and conquer their own worlds. Their worlds where they move, for example, to another state, take a new job and commit to making a difference in kids lives by being a quality teacher of the best type! And, hopefully haven been given all that, they even have enough to survive 12 missed phone calls, because that just continues to demonstrate how very much they are loved!
Until next time,
Pam
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