Hello All!
Where to begin? I have been entrenched in wedding lalapalooza for the last 2 months. My, well I should accurately say, our because I certainly did not make her on my own, daughter got married last Saturday, February 18th, 2012. Our whole family has been working towards this date since December of 2010 when my son in law, Mr. Patrick Martins, officially asked our daughter, Anne, to marry him, and she said "yes".
I have written a number of blog posts since Anne and Patrick became engaged. I don't think I have talked about them a lot though, because there were probably some other things on my mind, or other ideas I had spinning around, or something like that. However, (remember I said I was eliminating the word "But" from my online vocab:) today it is allllllll about them and what they just did!
Since last December 2010 much has happened. Of course, regular life has progressed and evolved with all that that entails; work, school, travel, dinners, birthdays, holidays.... regular days...etc...... yet the underlying goal was to work towards February 18th 2012. Many, and I do mean MANY people were involved in creating just this one day. It was truly astounding how much time and thought and plain old sweat went into that one day. Any of you who have been lucky enough to be at that point in life where your child, now all grown up, says he or she is getting married, know what I am talking about.
Whenever I write these posts, I sit in our dining room. Today, as I write, I am surrounded by the files, and folders, and response cards, of wedding planning, and hundreds of photos of photo documentation of how the whole backdrop and landscape of the wedding evolved. Photos of a tent being constructed, and I use the word "tent" lightly because structure is more accurate. I have the evidence of how the whole event came to be. It was like a giant metamorphosis....a single beam, piece of canvas, and finally a magical landscape. Kind of like one of the children's books I love best, where a single egg laid on a leaf in the moonlight becomes a beautiful butterfly.
My husband and I arrived a week before the wedding at our home in the Florida Keys, which is where Anne and Patrick wanted to have their wedding. When we first arrived, it was dark and I had no idea of what was evolving in our backyard. When the next day dawned and we first glimpsed what was happening, we were in awe....the months of planning and designing and creating, were now happening. My husband then began his I-Pad assault. He started taking photos on his I-Pad of each step in the process. He sent numerous, ( and I do mean NUMEROUS) photos of this backyard transformation to everyone. Our son teased him that he could have actually bundled all the pictures together. My husband, of course, shared some choice words with him...and continued his assault! Anne, the bride, said that this is what happens when you give a 55 year old CEO and I -Pad! :) The process of building and constructing and creating continued for 7 days. ( Yikes! I just realized that sounds almost biblical.)
Throughout those 7 days, people began to arrive. Family, the bride and groom, the best man, the maid of honor, the chefs and kitchen staff, who are Anne and Patrick's friends, more close friends, more family , the officiant, and finally, the band. With the arrival of each new group of people, the excitement grew. We began to celebrate. We hosted dinners, and toasted and began to revel in the realization that Anne and Patrick were here...at this place...at this time. The answer of "Yes" to a single question, had led all of us to this tipping point.
Friday arrived. The day of the rehearsal, the time of final preparation. Patrick hosted the dinner on a beautiful beach. He, along with his Mother and friends, had prepared a spectacular venue for all of us. The night was beautiful, the stars were plentiful, the music was fun and upbeat, the love and friendship evident. The food, which was so important to both Patrick and Anne, prepared by their friends, was spectacular. Simple and delicious and perfect. Patrick, himself, helped serve as a gesture of gratitude to all who came and were there for him and for Anne. At the end of the evening, as Bill and I said goodnight and thanks to Patrick, he said, " OK, now I hand this off to the Saxelbys. Tomorrow is all you." We hugged him and promised him, we would do a good job.
Saturday dawned. It was a beautiful morning. The weather seemed to have a promise in it. A promise of beauty. My husband and I knew this was an epic day. Today we would give our daughter to the man she loves. As the morning continued, Anne woke up and we shared a cup of coffee together. She looked exhilarated and excited and gloriously happy. She began to have an extraordinary smile on her face that seemed to say everything, ''Today, I get to marry the man I love, the person I have been looking for, and now have found." That smile stayed on her face the entire day and afternoon and evening.
People began to arrive in swarms. Anne's sister, Megan, arrived. Her friends arrived. Hair and makeup people arrived. Food and drink arrived. The cake arrived with Anne's friend, Kelly, who began to put in together in the middle of our kitchen. People with flowers and linen and glass and candles and lights and more and more flowers arrived. Anne's brother and grandmother arrived. The tents began to become alive with color and light and beauty. A hupa was created, more flowers arrived. Lights were placed in hurricane jars along the path for the bridal party to enter. Lights were placed on the beach to light the water as dusk approached. Guests began to arrive, the band began to play and then, Magic happened.
I saw Patrick. He had arrived and was walking around with his friends and Best Man, Toby. Bill, my husband went down to see him. Bill said Patrick looked awed and delighted and happy. All was in place. It was time.
The music began. Grandmothers were seated, Patrick walked in with his Mother, she took her seat, and the rest of the wedding party began their arrival. Anne and Bill and I were upstairs on our porch watching all of this happen. Anne was hidden waiting for her moment to arrive. The music changed, and now Bill and I walked downstairs. The music changed again, and Anne walked down the stairs and came to meet us. We held hands, all 3 of us, and walked down the aisle to where Patrick was waiting for her. His smile was amazing, his look said it all, and Anne had never stopped smiling. Bill and then I hugged and kissed Anne and hugged and kissed Patrick. It was time for the ceremony to begin.
As the ceremony began, Brian, the officiant, asked for a moment. A moment for everyone to look around at the beauty and love that was in this place and time and be present. Be present, be alive, be aware. Everyone did. Anne and Patrick had written their own vows. As I listened to each of them share their words of love and joy and commitment to each other, my heart experienced an almost visible sense of joy. A sense that life had brought these 2 people to this place, this time, this moment. It became official. Brian said, "By the power vested in me by the State of Florida, I now pronounce you husband and wife!" Mayhem ensued. Whooping and yelling and flat out hollering began. Now it was time to celebrate and eat and drink and dance with joy, which of course we all did!
As I reach this point in my "epic" I chose to look up the definition of this word. The Oxford dictionary definition of "epic" is "Adventures of heroic figure etc." Well, I am going to go with this. The heroic figures in this epic adventure are Anne and Patrick. They have chosen to write their own script. And as anyone knows, adventure heros are strong and brave and loyal. I just wonder what color their hero suits will be?
Until next time,
Pam
(There you go Sarah. :) Let Emily and Alyssa know too.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
My Husband's Mirror
Hello All!
Happy New Year! I know that I get inspired each year around this time to think about what I can do differently in my life. What can I do that would make a difference in how my life works? This morning, actually just a little bit ago, I was upstairs drying my hair, (yes, it was late morning...I made a choice to try and work out hard...that is another one of my decisions as the new year begins) and I was looking at the mirror above my husband's sink. For anyone, like my kids who have been up there, and a few family members, it is a place of inspiration.
My Husband's mirror...a place, a spot of inspiration. I tease him that very soon he won't actually be able to use his mirror for it's actual intended purpose...to look at himself. But, maybe, what he is actually doing is trying to make himself look more closely, see what is important, not just if he shaved well that day.
I noticed this morning, that he had added a new item. See, his mirror is covered with articles, photos, notes of inspiration, cards, and pictures, and his newest addition is the cover of a recent Sports Illustrated. On this cover, is a photo of a young man from the Rutgers Football team who was severely injured. He is now in a wheel chair, and to be honest, I do not know exactly what his whole story is, but the title beneath his photo is the word "Choice".
Choice, a simple word, but perhaps not such a simple action. I decided to look up the official definition of the word "Choice". On the same page, maybe not too coincidentally is the word "Choke"...:) "Choice* noun* act of choosing; thing or person chosen; range to choose from; power to choose* adjective*of superior quality."
"Of superior quality"...what a phrase! That must be the idea behind the Sports Illustrated Staff choosing this young man as their cover. He has made the choice to move forward, make his life what he can, the best that he can, and choose to keep going, and growing and evolving. He has chosen to be "of superior quality". I feel humbled.
I am thinking about how to now myself be" of superior quality". How can I live that...I guess that means one thing for sure, that I have to stop being a baby whiner about some things in my life, like the fact that I wish I could see my kids more often and have Sunday dinners together, or maybe be in a warmer climate more, or maybe be 10 pounds skinnier...worrying about that stuff is NOT going to make me a person "of superior quality" :) So, what do I do? I guess I am going to have to choose, decide, make a choice.
As this new year revs up, I am going to try hard to choose well. To be a person of "superior quality" means I have to think about what I can do to accomplish that in all the areas of my life where it matters, and, I suppose that would be in each area; my personal life, my physical life, my spiritual life, my professional life, and family life. I guess I am going to have to be in charge of myself, take good care of myself, grow professionally, and take good care of my family. Maybe I have to continue to figure out how to make "I" and "We" and "Us" all work. How to be a woman and wife to be proud of, a teacher that inspires, a friend that helps, a daughter who cares, and in one of my most important roles, a mother that is stellar. A mother that chooses to continue to evolve well and grow with her kids, a parent who chooses to see what is needed at each stage, and makes the choices needed to help each of her kids, now all adults, as needed and as wanted, which can even require doing nothing! Letting my children be...with the knowledge that they are able and competent and strong enough to choose for themselves.
My Husband's mirror...I think I may need to take the time to look at it more!
Until next time and Happy New Year,
Pam
Happy New Year! I know that I get inspired each year around this time to think about what I can do differently in my life. What can I do that would make a difference in how my life works? This morning, actually just a little bit ago, I was upstairs drying my hair, (yes, it was late morning...I made a choice to try and work out hard...that is another one of my decisions as the new year begins) and I was looking at the mirror above my husband's sink. For anyone, like my kids who have been up there, and a few family members, it is a place of inspiration.
My Husband's mirror...a place, a spot of inspiration. I tease him that very soon he won't actually be able to use his mirror for it's actual intended purpose...to look at himself. But, maybe, what he is actually doing is trying to make himself look more closely, see what is important, not just if he shaved well that day.
I noticed this morning, that he had added a new item. See, his mirror is covered with articles, photos, notes of inspiration, cards, and pictures, and his newest addition is the cover of a recent Sports Illustrated. On this cover, is a photo of a young man from the Rutgers Football team who was severely injured. He is now in a wheel chair, and to be honest, I do not know exactly what his whole story is, but the title beneath his photo is the word "Choice".
Choice, a simple word, but perhaps not such a simple action. I decided to look up the official definition of the word "Choice". On the same page, maybe not too coincidentally is the word "Choke"...:) "Choice* noun* act of choosing; thing or person chosen; range to choose from; power to choose* adjective*of superior quality."
"Of superior quality"...what a phrase! That must be the idea behind the Sports Illustrated Staff choosing this young man as their cover. He has made the choice to move forward, make his life what he can, the best that he can, and choose to keep going, and growing and evolving. He has chosen to be "of superior quality". I feel humbled.
I am thinking about how to now myself be" of superior quality". How can I live that...I guess that means one thing for sure, that I have to stop being a baby whiner about some things in my life, like the fact that I wish I could see my kids more often and have Sunday dinners together, or maybe be in a warmer climate more, or maybe be 10 pounds skinnier...worrying about that stuff is NOT going to make me a person "of superior quality" :) So, what do I do? I guess I am going to have to choose, decide, make a choice.
As this new year revs up, I am going to try hard to choose well. To be a person of "superior quality" means I have to think about what I can do to accomplish that in all the areas of my life where it matters, and, I suppose that would be in each area; my personal life, my physical life, my spiritual life, my professional life, and family life. I guess I am going to have to be in charge of myself, take good care of myself, grow professionally, and take good care of my family. Maybe I have to continue to figure out how to make "I" and "We" and "Us" all work. How to be a woman and wife to be proud of, a teacher that inspires, a friend that helps, a daughter who cares, and in one of my most important roles, a mother that is stellar. A mother that chooses to continue to evolve well and grow with her kids, a parent who chooses to see what is needed at each stage, and makes the choices needed to help each of her kids, now all adults, as needed and as wanted, which can even require doing nothing! Letting my children be...with the knowledge that they are able and competent and strong enough to choose for themselves.
My Husband's mirror...I think I may need to take the time to look at it more!
Until next time and Happy New Year,
Pam
Friday, December 2, 2011
The Spirit of Giving...
Hello All!
I was lying on the chiropractors bed...couch...piece of equipment...whatever it is called, and was listening to Smooth Jazz. I think that is the station of choice in all doctors offices, and began thinking about all that has to be done now that it is December and then I realized I was suppose to be relaxing!
The Spirit of Giving. That is was what this whole next few weeks is about. It does not matter what holiday you observe, or practice, or even which ones you don't. The push is on... the retailers and merchants and cyber merchants and advertisers are all over everything. Unless you live on another planet, it would be hard to miss all of this!
I do love Christmas! I love Christmas because of what it means to me and my family. I look at, Christmas as an opportunity to tell all of those people that matter most to me that I love them. I like to shop, well maybe not actually shop, but I do like to decide what gifts I think people might like. I like to anticipate the opening of the presents I have spent time looking for and planning for. I like to start each hectic period of Christmas/Holiday planning with a list of all those people that I would like to give a gift to. I know that sometimes not everyone wants some thing, they may want less, or they may want you to donate to a cause in their name. The point is, that everyone likes to receive gifts...well maybe a gift if someone is trying to keep a low carbon footprint.
In the last year, our family has grown. We now have two additional participants! My daughter is engaged and my son is engaged. With that I get the chance to think about two new people, learn what they like and then try to figure out how to celebrate them through the gifts I choose, in a way that hopes to make them happy. I look forward to this new challenge. I am spending time trying to think about what each one of these people would like and the message that the gifts I choose send to them.
Hmm... the message that the gift sends. The Spirit of Giving. I am working on figuring out how to channel the inner Santa in me that likes to truly go over the top. I am the kind of person who thinks more is better on Christmas morning. I like to think that a large number of packages under the tree is a ton of fun! I still like to count them all and make sure that each person has the same number of packages to open. That of course can lend itself to pure gluttony on my part! I love it, my husband tolerates it and does not ask how much the tally is, because he secretly loves it too. He loves the response on the faces of the gift recipients. He wrote me a beautiful card last year thanking me for all the time and thought I put into trying to make everyone's Christmas fabulous. That is my goal...a daunting one!
This is what I am working on now. ( We did participate in a bit of "Black Friday" shopping last week while my family was out in New York, and then quickly ran back to our hotel and hid.) I am working on figuring out the right kind of giving for each person involved in our family now. My kids, although they are now all adults, are used to my over the top behavior. They are use to me making sure that everyone has the same number of packages and I hope, and actually believe that they delight in this strategy. Now, I am trying to invite the new members of our family into the fold. I want them to have the same number of packages. I want them to know that in doing that, I am trying to make them realize that they are now part of this group...The Saxelbys...plural.
It is tricky this Spirit of Giving thing. What works for me, may not be the ideal for anyone else. Or, what has been the practice for our family, may not be ideal for someone else. So, what I am attempting to do now in the next weeks of planning and buying and preparing, is to pause...yes, pause and think about what works. What works for the people I love most and the people that they love most, and are inviting to be a part of our family. I want to make sure that in the Spirit of Giving, I am truly thinking about it from the perspective of who I am hoping to give to. I think that is it! Hmm...thinking of others.
The Spirit of Giving. In the crazy run up to the holidays, and it is often a true sprint...pause. Pause and think about what message you want to send, what gift sends the type of message you are opening to give, and then enjoy. Maybe the best gift is as simple and lovely as the gift of time. The time to truly enjoy the ones that matter most to you in a way that makes them happy. Time to pause, time to relax, time to celebrate and enjoy the gift of each other. Because, even though I still like the idea of having lots and lots of presents for everyone I love, that is not the true gift. The true gift is the gift of family, and love and time.
The Spirit of Giving....the gift of ourselves to each other. With each holiday season, learning, growing, evolving, celebrating. Celebrating the changes, celebrating people, celebrating time. Time to enjoy those we love most.
Ah Ha! That is it! The best gift, the perfect gift....each other!
Until next time!
Pam
I was lying on the chiropractors bed...couch...piece of equipment...whatever it is called, and was listening to Smooth Jazz. I think that is the station of choice in all doctors offices, and began thinking about all that has to be done now that it is December and then I realized I was suppose to be relaxing!
The Spirit of Giving. That is was what this whole next few weeks is about. It does not matter what holiday you observe, or practice, or even which ones you don't. The push is on... the retailers and merchants and cyber merchants and advertisers are all over everything. Unless you live on another planet, it would be hard to miss all of this!
I do love Christmas! I love Christmas because of what it means to me and my family. I look at, Christmas as an opportunity to tell all of those people that matter most to me that I love them. I like to shop, well maybe not actually shop, but I do like to decide what gifts I think people might like. I like to anticipate the opening of the presents I have spent time looking for and planning for. I like to start each hectic period of Christmas/Holiday planning with a list of all those people that I would like to give a gift to. I know that sometimes not everyone wants some thing, they may want less, or they may want you to donate to a cause in their name. The point is, that everyone likes to receive gifts...well maybe a gift if someone is trying to keep a low carbon footprint.
In the last year, our family has grown. We now have two additional participants! My daughter is engaged and my son is engaged. With that I get the chance to think about two new people, learn what they like and then try to figure out how to celebrate them through the gifts I choose, in a way that hopes to make them happy. I look forward to this new challenge. I am spending time trying to think about what each one of these people would like and the message that the gifts I choose send to them.
Hmm... the message that the gift sends. The Spirit of Giving. I am working on figuring out how to channel the inner Santa in me that likes to truly go over the top. I am the kind of person who thinks more is better on Christmas morning. I like to think that a large number of packages under the tree is a ton of fun! I still like to count them all and make sure that each person has the same number of packages to open. That of course can lend itself to pure gluttony on my part! I love it, my husband tolerates it and does not ask how much the tally is, because he secretly loves it too. He loves the response on the faces of the gift recipients. He wrote me a beautiful card last year thanking me for all the time and thought I put into trying to make everyone's Christmas fabulous. That is my goal...a daunting one!
This is what I am working on now. ( We did participate in a bit of "Black Friday" shopping last week while my family was out in New York, and then quickly ran back to our hotel and hid.) I am working on figuring out the right kind of giving for each person involved in our family now. My kids, although they are now all adults, are used to my over the top behavior. They are use to me making sure that everyone has the same number of packages and I hope, and actually believe that they delight in this strategy. Now, I am trying to invite the new members of our family into the fold. I want them to have the same number of packages. I want them to know that in doing that, I am trying to make them realize that they are now part of this group...The Saxelbys...plural.
It is tricky this Spirit of Giving thing. What works for me, may not be the ideal for anyone else. Or, what has been the practice for our family, may not be ideal for someone else. So, what I am attempting to do now in the next weeks of planning and buying and preparing, is to pause...yes, pause and think about what works. What works for the people I love most and the people that they love most, and are inviting to be a part of our family. I want to make sure that in the Spirit of Giving, I am truly thinking about it from the perspective of who I am hoping to give to. I think that is it! Hmm...thinking of others.
The Spirit of Giving. In the crazy run up to the holidays, and it is often a true sprint...pause. Pause and think about what message you want to send, what gift sends the type of message you are opening to give, and then enjoy. Maybe the best gift is as simple and lovely as the gift of time. The time to truly enjoy the ones that matter most to you in a way that makes them happy. Time to pause, time to relax, time to celebrate and enjoy the gift of each other. Because, even though I still like the idea of having lots and lots of presents for everyone I love, that is not the true gift. The true gift is the gift of family, and love and time.
The Spirit of Giving....the gift of ourselves to each other. With each holiday season, learning, growing, evolving, celebrating. Celebrating the changes, celebrating people, celebrating time. Time to enjoy those we love most.
Ah Ha! That is it! The best gift, the perfect gift....each other!
Until next time!
Pam
Monday, November 14, 2011
Through it all...
Hi all!
I have been thinking as usual, about what to write over these past few weeks. I made a list of titles and thoughts and kept adding to it. I have a whole index card, my high tech method for keeping ideas, of bits and pieces of concepts, and suggestions and maybes. However, and that is my new word of choice instead of but, nothing really inspired me until this morning.
Over this past weekend we had a lot going on! We celebrated engagements, and then worried about someone who had a scary thing happen. We hugged and laughed and smiled and then worried, and hugged and thankfully, smiled again!
Through it all! Life is a series of events that I would like to think I can control, but of course I realize that I am delusional if I believe that is even remotely possible. The older I get, and of course I have to admit I now have to check that box off on forms that says "Age 55 and up", I realize that life gets messier and messier. There is no line, or box or compartment or day or week or month that anyone can count on being what they had planned. There are no guarantees.
When I was a mom of younger children, my focus was on making sure my kids were well taken care of. Now that I am a mom of adult children, that focus has not changed. It just has a different face. My face of course has more lines, though I am attempting to hold them at bay with lots of assist from a good dermatologist, but the structure of the face is the same. Since my children arrived on this earth, my primary goal has been to help them in and through life. Life changes. Life evolves for them and for me.
When kids are little our focus is more on the day to day. The more mundane, perhaps of feeding and bathing and clothing etc. However, to a young mom, there is probably nothing mundane about some of those needs. I know one new mom who is trying to help her husband relax and not worry too much about the type of baby lotion they use. He is being careful about what to put on his new baby. As a mom of adults, I can smile at that, but not value it any less. It is important to him in his evolution as a father.
Now that my kids are all adults, there are times when I have many days of peace. I do not have the day to day worries of care. I can go about my business and feel relatively secure that everyone is good, everything is fine. That is, until you get a phone call. When you get THAT phone call, and all of you who are parents of adults know what I am talking about, life stops for a minute, you listen, and evaluate and then do. You do what you need to do and are asked to do and what is important to do for the person on the other end of the line, namely, your adult child asking you to help them.
We had just such an event this past weekend. Thankfully and gratefully, everyone and everything is fine now. However, during the time of events like what happened this past weekend, you realize that even as your children grow and become grown, they need you... they always need you. They need you for different reasons throughout the stages of their lives, but don't ever kid yourself, they need you.
Children need parents. Without parents, there would be no children and without children, there would be no parents. Through it all, we are all in this wonderful game of life together. Helping, guiding, and most of all...loving.
Loving, the most important concept though it all. Loving means parents will do whatever is needed, whatever is important whatever is asked for, or maybe not even asked for because you know your kids need it and they need your help. So good parents, love your kids well. Love them well at every stage of their lives.
O.K... I am going to go get a wonderfully relaxing cup of coffee now. I am going to celebrate that at this very moment, everyone I love, everyone my children love, everyone in our growing family that we all love is fine....
Hmm....maybe I spoke too soon. My son just called me, and then realized he was getting pulled over on the highway!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHH........
Until next time,
Pam
Until next time,
Pam
I have been thinking as usual, about what to write over these past few weeks. I made a list of titles and thoughts and kept adding to it. I have a whole index card, my high tech method for keeping ideas, of bits and pieces of concepts, and suggestions and maybes. However, and that is my new word of choice instead of but, nothing really inspired me until this morning.
Over this past weekend we had a lot going on! We celebrated engagements, and then worried about someone who had a scary thing happen. We hugged and laughed and smiled and then worried, and hugged and thankfully, smiled again!
Through it all! Life is a series of events that I would like to think I can control, but of course I realize that I am delusional if I believe that is even remotely possible. The older I get, and of course I have to admit I now have to check that box off on forms that says "Age 55 and up", I realize that life gets messier and messier. There is no line, or box or compartment or day or week or month that anyone can count on being what they had planned. There are no guarantees.
When I was a mom of younger children, my focus was on making sure my kids were well taken care of. Now that I am a mom of adult children, that focus has not changed. It just has a different face. My face of course has more lines, though I am attempting to hold them at bay with lots of assist from a good dermatologist, but the structure of the face is the same. Since my children arrived on this earth, my primary goal has been to help them in and through life. Life changes. Life evolves for them and for me.
When kids are little our focus is more on the day to day. The more mundane, perhaps of feeding and bathing and clothing etc. However, to a young mom, there is probably nothing mundane about some of those needs. I know one new mom who is trying to help her husband relax and not worry too much about the type of baby lotion they use. He is being careful about what to put on his new baby. As a mom of adults, I can smile at that, but not value it any less. It is important to him in his evolution as a father.
Now that my kids are all adults, there are times when I have many days of peace. I do not have the day to day worries of care. I can go about my business and feel relatively secure that everyone is good, everything is fine. That is, until you get a phone call. When you get THAT phone call, and all of you who are parents of adults know what I am talking about, life stops for a minute, you listen, and evaluate and then do. You do what you need to do and are asked to do and what is important to do for the person on the other end of the line, namely, your adult child asking you to help them.
We had just such an event this past weekend. Thankfully and gratefully, everyone and everything is fine now. However, during the time of events like what happened this past weekend, you realize that even as your children grow and become grown, they need you... they always need you. They need you for different reasons throughout the stages of their lives, but don't ever kid yourself, they need you.
Children need parents. Without parents, there would be no children and without children, there would be no parents. Through it all, we are all in this wonderful game of life together. Helping, guiding, and most of all...loving.
Loving, the most important concept though it all. Loving means parents will do whatever is needed, whatever is important whatever is asked for, or maybe not even asked for because you know your kids need it and they need your help. So good parents, love your kids well. Love them well at every stage of their lives.
O.K... I am going to go get a wonderfully relaxing cup of coffee now. I am going to celebrate that at this very moment, everyone I love, everyone my children love, everyone in our growing family that we all love is fine....
Hmm....maybe I spoke too soon. My son just called me, and then realized he was getting pulled over on the highway!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHH........
Until next time,
Pam
Until next time,
Pam
Friday, October 7, 2011
Transitions
Hello All!
I seem to be spending more and more time thinking about what I want to write these days. I have been thinking about transitions and writing down ideas, and sentences and thoughts for a while. Today is the day I decided to sit down and attempt to put all of it together!
Fall... a natural transition. The time of year that we move from one season into another. A time of year when kids and families move from one grade, or school or time of life into another. A time when kids naturally move from home, to preschool to elementary school, to junior high to high school to college... and beyond! I have been thinking about this as the school year starts for me and the little ones I work with. I saw somewhere the idea that in preschool, kids are learning to do school. I think that is right. Little ones, and parents are learning how to embrace and navigate this next phase of life. Transitioning to new school and life experiences in preschool.
When you transition into preschool and all that brings, a new phase of life starts for kids and for parents. That inevitable process of letting go on the parents part. Deciding how to help your kids become able and more competent, to " fly on their own." At this time of life, kids really are looking to their parents, in my opinion, to get the validation they need that they can do this. They can go to school, and be away from their parents, and that life will be good, actually even better because of all the new and fun stuff they will get to do!
As parents, when we first drop those little ones off, it is a big transition for us as well. We all have our own feelings as we leave our kids with someone else, wave goodbye and maybe even shed a tear. I have one Mom this year who left her youngest, and boy, I know that is a new, exciting and yet hard time! Our kids are flying, they don't need us in the same ways that they have in the past. They can navigate the world around them on their terms, ready to try out this new school and all the new toys and the new kids they get to meet. Yet, this transition can be challenging for us grownups as we realize we need to figure out how to evolve and move to the next stage of parenting ourselves! I have this saying that I like to let go of my children like peeling glue off one's hand....I eventually do it, and it doesn't hurt too much, but I do it slowly! :)
Transitions in parenting occur every day and every week and every month and of course, every year. As our kids grow they need different things from us. When they are little, they need us to help with their most basic needs for survival, and they as they grow, they need us less for those needs, and more for their emotional and psychological and needs. Bigger kids, bigger problems, or as maybe the optimist in my we would say, bigger opportunities!
I watched the TV show Glee the other evening, and wrote down a thought after seeing this last episode. In the show this week a student was struggling with his true passion and his desire to pursue what he believes his life's work should be. The thing that he loves, dance, is the exact opposite of what his father loves, business. His father has given him the message that dance is fine for play, but not fine for his life work. I punched the sky and whooped when this young man's mother came to school, and watched him dance, and then told him she would help him talk to his father. Together, they would begin the process of making his father see that what is his son needs, is not what he the father needs. That will require a huge transition!
Transitions. Part of life that is always occurring. We have to transition each day from sleep to wakefulness. From morning to afternoon, from day to night. With each step of loving and parenting, we have to transition as well. How we do that make all the difference.
I am at the stage of parenting now that requires my husband and myself to transition more each day into counselor, hopefully a sage counselor, at least that is what I am attempting to become. My kids, all grownups, do not need my husband and myself to help with their basic survival. They can cover all of that on their own. Our job now is to help them as needed. Be able to provide an ear to listen, or two, depending on the situation. This transition, if you think about it, is the phase that will last the longest. As parents, we spend 18 years helping our kids get to the stage where they are able and ready to leave. Leave for college, or leave for work, or leave for the military, whatever the next transition is at that time of our kids lives. The next 70 years :) is about assisting, guiding and being there as needed. I said 70 years because of course by that time our 18 year olds would be 88! We, unless we have super bio genes, or they develop some new krio-freeze, will be long gone! My point is, that guiding, loving and being there, this is what our kids need, always. With each and every transition of our families and our kids lives and our lives, those qualities help our kids and us become who we need to be next. And, of course along the way, celebrate. Celebrate each and every transition that is made and navigated successfully!
Maybe our true purpose as parents, good parents, is to help our kids navigate all the transitions of life in the most positive, healthy, loving and successful way they can. Maybe we do that by loving unconditionally, being always present in our kids lives, filling up their buckets with good stuff, and letting them know we are there and always will be. Hmm..
I think I may be onto something. Just last night, my daughter called to chat and share that she is being asked to take on a new role at work. One that requires transitioning from educator to mentor. I am sure she is up to this task. I am sure she will navigate it well.
Learning to do new.....Transitioning. Important. Being open, making our kids able and eager to see what lies ahead and knowing they can and will figure it out ...maybe THAT is the best gift we can give our kids!
Until next time,
Pam
I seem to be spending more and more time thinking about what I want to write these days. I have been thinking about transitions and writing down ideas, and sentences and thoughts for a while. Today is the day I decided to sit down and attempt to put all of it together!
Fall... a natural transition. The time of year that we move from one season into another. A time of year when kids and families move from one grade, or school or time of life into another. A time when kids naturally move from home, to preschool to elementary school, to junior high to high school to college... and beyond! I have been thinking about this as the school year starts for me and the little ones I work with. I saw somewhere the idea that in preschool, kids are learning to do school. I think that is right. Little ones, and parents are learning how to embrace and navigate this next phase of life. Transitioning to new school and life experiences in preschool.
When you transition into preschool and all that brings, a new phase of life starts for kids and for parents. That inevitable process of letting go on the parents part. Deciding how to help your kids become able and more competent, to " fly on their own." At this time of life, kids really are looking to their parents, in my opinion, to get the validation they need that they can do this. They can go to school, and be away from their parents, and that life will be good, actually even better because of all the new and fun stuff they will get to do!
As parents, when we first drop those little ones off, it is a big transition for us as well. We all have our own feelings as we leave our kids with someone else, wave goodbye and maybe even shed a tear. I have one Mom this year who left her youngest, and boy, I know that is a new, exciting and yet hard time! Our kids are flying, they don't need us in the same ways that they have in the past. They can navigate the world around them on their terms, ready to try out this new school and all the new toys and the new kids they get to meet. Yet, this transition can be challenging for us grownups as we realize we need to figure out how to evolve and move to the next stage of parenting ourselves! I have this saying that I like to let go of my children like peeling glue off one's hand....I eventually do it, and it doesn't hurt too much, but I do it slowly! :)
Transitions in parenting occur every day and every week and every month and of course, every year. As our kids grow they need different things from us. When they are little, they need us to help with their most basic needs for survival, and they as they grow, they need us less for those needs, and more for their emotional and psychological and needs. Bigger kids, bigger problems, or as maybe the optimist in my we would say, bigger opportunities!
I watched the TV show Glee the other evening, and wrote down a thought after seeing this last episode. In the show this week a student was struggling with his true passion and his desire to pursue what he believes his life's work should be. The thing that he loves, dance, is the exact opposite of what his father loves, business. His father has given him the message that dance is fine for play, but not fine for his life work. I punched the sky and whooped when this young man's mother came to school, and watched him dance, and then told him she would help him talk to his father. Together, they would begin the process of making his father see that what is his son needs, is not what he the father needs. That will require a huge transition!
Transitions. Part of life that is always occurring. We have to transition each day from sleep to wakefulness. From morning to afternoon, from day to night. With each step of loving and parenting, we have to transition as well. How we do that make all the difference.
I am at the stage of parenting now that requires my husband and myself to transition more each day into counselor, hopefully a sage counselor, at least that is what I am attempting to become. My kids, all grownups, do not need my husband and myself to help with their basic survival. They can cover all of that on their own. Our job now is to help them as needed. Be able to provide an ear to listen, or two, depending on the situation. This transition, if you think about it, is the phase that will last the longest. As parents, we spend 18 years helping our kids get to the stage where they are able and ready to leave. Leave for college, or leave for work, or leave for the military, whatever the next transition is at that time of our kids lives. The next 70 years :) is about assisting, guiding and being there as needed. I said 70 years because of course by that time our 18 year olds would be 88! We, unless we have super bio genes, or they develop some new krio-freeze, will be long gone! My point is, that guiding, loving and being there, this is what our kids need, always. With each and every transition of our families and our kids lives and our lives, those qualities help our kids and us become who we need to be next. And, of course along the way, celebrate. Celebrate each and every transition that is made and navigated successfully!
Maybe our true purpose as parents, good parents, is to help our kids navigate all the transitions of life in the most positive, healthy, loving and successful way they can. Maybe we do that by loving unconditionally, being always present in our kids lives, filling up their buckets with good stuff, and letting them know we are there and always will be. Hmm..
I think I may be onto something. Just last night, my daughter called to chat and share that she is being asked to take on a new role at work. One that requires transitioning from educator to mentor. I am sure she is up to this task. I am sure she will navigate it well.
Learning to do new.....Transitioning. Important. Being open, making our kids able and eager to see what lies ahead and knowing they can and will figure it out ...maybe THAT is the best gift we can give our kids!
Until next time,
Pam
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Wishes and Dream
Hello All!
Hope everyone is well and enjoyed summer. Can't quite believe it is over...almost!
As Autumn approaches, and I start to get ready for a new school year where I have the delightful (my new favorite word) opportunity to meet new children and new families, I take pause to think about wishes and dreams. Lofty things they are!
Every parent has a wish and a dream for each of their children. I would hazard a guess and say that most parents have many wishes and dreams for their kids! If a parent chooses to say they don't, I would think they are fibbing. (Don't want to come right out and say they may be liars). I know that my husband and I had lots of dreams and wishes for our kids, and frankly, still do.
Our children are now all grownups and out on their own. There is a lot of satisfaction that comes from that. But just cause they are grown, does not mean that I have stopped having wishes and dreams for them in their now adult lives. On the contrary, I think my wishes and dreams are bigger, and probably loftier. I wish them life, and health and love and work that satisfies them. I know those are lofty dreams and big wishes, but those are the ones I have, and I know that my husband would agree. By the time your kids are grown, and on their own, you hope that you have shown them how to find their own ways well. I would like to think that we have done that for our kids. By all appearances, I think we have. Yet, each day I start my day with a prayer that our children will find their way well and through the opportunities and challenges life may present that day.
When kids are little, we can control more of their lives and what components are in them. We get to pick their preschool, we get to decide what type of elementary education they will have, public or private, we get to guide them all the way through the process of picking the right college. Then, they leave! At this point you have spent countless hours wishing and dreaming for your kids and the type of life they will have. Parents, you will have invested hours too numerous to calculate, trying to guide your children to the path that seems best for them, and may even have had to step back as your growing child chose a path that may have been different from the one you had hoped. That is the problem, and the opportunity for us as our children grow. Parents who take time through the process of their child's life to evaluate, and re-evaluate, what are the wishes and dreams you have for your children, and what are their wishes and dreams. With each year your child grows, those paths may not be convergent, and their lies the growth for us as adults and parents. How to know when to put our wishes and dreams aside, and embrace those of our children.
Now, if your preschool child wishes to jump of the high dive at the pool because your older child did it, that does not mean you need to allow them to. I am being silly of course, but my thought is that common sense and good judgement are always the guides to letting go and allowing our children to be more in charge of themselves. As each child grows, we can look and evaluate and let go, and pull in or pull back as needed. I know a good friend of mine is going through a struggle with her teenage daughter, and so has decided she needs to pull her back in some. That may not be the wish or dream of her daughter, and yet it is the parent's job to assess delicately what is the right thing to do. Ultimately, through respect and love our kids see that what we are trying to do is help them find their own way well. A path that will lead them to realizing their dreams and wishes. I suspect that many parents are in that process right now as a new school year begins. The art of helping their kids realize how to accomplish the wishes and dreams they have for this new year. I also really do know that as the year evolves, goals will need to be adjusted and realigned in order for kids to accomplish what is important and necessary.
The art of parenting. I have said this before, and truly believe it. For those adults who choose to be invested, involved and educated in the process of parenting, finding the nuances of how to parent artfully is a skill and a challenge. Anyone can tell their kids what to do, but the artful parent will practice skillfully the tenets, in my opinion, of good parenting: loving unconditionally, setting apporiate limits and boundaries, using the scary word "NO", doing no harm, and ultimately helping their kids find their own way well, the path that best suits them. A path that will lead our kids to the type of life they hope for and wish for. A life that will help them realize their own dreams.
Wishing and dreaming.
I know that my husband and I have spent countless hours wishing and dreaming for our son, Bill. His hard work and pursuit of his own dreams are continuing to come true. He called me the other evening, quite excited. He then sent me and his Dad the Call sheet for the MTV project he is working on for Tuesday, August 30th. He is now listed as "Camera Operator B 2nd assist"! He has come a long way from filming his army men on the pool table in our basement!! Way to go Willow!
Wishes and dreams...they are big things. What would our lives, and the lives of our children be without them?
Until next time,
Pam
I
Hope everyone is well and enjoyed summer. Can't quite believe it is over...almost!
As Autumn approaches, and I start to get ready for a new school year where I have the delightful (my new favorite word) opportunity to meet new children and new families, I take pause to think about wishes and dreams. Lofty things they are!
Every parent has a wish and a dream for each of their children. I would hazard a guess and say that most parents have many wishes and dreams for their kids! If a parent chooses to say they don't, I would think they are fibbing. (Don't want to come right out and say they may be liars). I know that my husband and I had lots of dreams and wishes for our kids, and frankly, still do.
Our children are now all grownups and out on their own. There is a lot of satisfaction that comes from that. But just cause they are grown, does not mean that I have stopped having wishes and dreams for them in their now adult lives. On the contrary, I think my wishes and dreams are bigger, and probably loftier. I wish them life, and health and love and work that satisfies them. I know those are lofty dreams and big wishes, but those are the ones I have, and I know that my husband would agree. By the time your kids are grown, and on their own, you hope that you have shown them how to find their own ways well. I would like to think that we have done that for our kids. By all appearances, I think we have. Yet, each day I start my day with a prayer that our children will find their way well and through the opportunities and challenges life may present that day.
When kids are little, we can control more of their lives and what components are in them. We get to pick their preschool, we get to decide what type of elementary education they will have, public or private, we get to guide them all the way through the process of picking the right college. Then, they leave! At this point you have spent countless hours wishing and dreaming for your kids and the type of life they will have. Parents, you will have invested hours too numerous to calculate, trying to guide your children to the path that seems best for them, and may even have had to step back as your growing child chose a path that may have been different from the one you had hoped. That is the problem, and the opportunity for us as our children grow. Parents who take time through the process of their child's life to evaluate, and re-evaluate, what are the wishes and dreams you have for your children, and what are their wishes and dreams. With each year your child grows, those paths may not be convergent, and their lies the growth for us as adults and parents. How to know when to put our wishes and dreams aside, and embrace those of our children.
Now, if your preschool child wishes to jump of the high dive at the pool because your older child did it, that does not mean you need to allow them to. I am being silly of course, but my thought is that common sense and good judgement are always the guides to letting go and allowing our children to be more in charge of themselves. As each child grows, we can look and evaluate and let go, and pull in or pull back as needed. I know a good friend of mine is going through a struggle with her teenage daughter, and so has decided she needs to pull her back in some. That may not be the wish or dream of her daughter, and yet it is the parent's job to assess delicately what is the right thing to do. Ultimately, through respect and love our kids see that what we are trying to do is help them find their own way well. A path that will lead them to realizing their dreams and wishes. I suspect that many parents are in that process right now as a new school year begins. The art of helping their kids realize how to accomplish the wishes and dreams they have for this new year. I also really do know that as the year evolves, goals will need to be adjusted and realigned in order for kids to accomplish what is important and necessary.
The art of parenting. I have said this before, and truly believe it. For those adults who choose to be invested, involved and educated in the process of parenting, finding the nuances of how to parent artfully is a skill and a challenge. Anyone can tell their kids what to do, but the artful parent will practice skillfully the tenets, in my opinion, of good parenting: loving unconditionally, setting apporiate limits and boundaries, using the scary word "NO", doing no harm, and ultimately helping their kids find their own way well, the path that best suits them. A path that will lead our kids to the type of life they hope for and wish for. A life that will help them realize their own dreams.
Wishing and dreaming.
I know that my husband and I have spent countless hours wishing and dreaming for our son, Bill. His hard work and pursuit of his own dreams are continuing to come true. He called me the other evening, quite excited. He then sent me and his Dad the Call sheet for the MTV project he is working on for Tuesday, August 30th. He is now listed as "Camera Operator B 2nd assist"! He has come a long way from filming his army men on the pool table in our basement!! Way to go Willow!
Wishes and dreams...they are big things. What would our lives, and the lives of our children be without them?
Until next time,
Pam
I
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Over the top...probably...Out of line...hmmm?
Hello All!
I don't even know when I wrote the last time. I have been basically lazy this summer, and goofing around. But, yesterday, in the New York Times, there was a full page article about my daughter, Anne, which leads me to the title I chose for today's piece.
Yesterday began with my daughter's fiance calling me and my husband at 7:00 am to tell us about the article. He was so excited and proud and I loved that he chose to make the call. Anne had said she would call us later, but he took the lead and said it was time then! Again, I loved his passion and excitement.
My husband and I had an inkling that this article was going to be published sometime near the end of July. The section that the article appeared in runs on Wednesdays and we were clued into checking the paper yesterday. So, when Patrick called, we were not surprised, just really really excited!
I then chose to figure out how I could legitimately spend my day telling as many people as I could about Anne in the New York Times, the lead in title being, "The Rise of a Cheesemonger." Reading her story made me immensely proud, and that led to my perhaps over the top behavior yesterday. ( I don't know who could blame me!)
In our local Starbucks, they have a news stand that sells the New York Times. I went in and bought all that they had ( it was just 4...could have been a lot more) and then when I went to pay for them, a woman in line asked me why I was buying 4 papers....I said..."Because my kid is in it!" I don't normally talk like that, I don't even refer to my children as "my kid", those words just came out of their own accord! I then, sat down, and read the article and grinned and grinned and grinned! Here on the top of the page, was a picture of Anne smiling amongst all sorts of the cheeses that she sells, and she looked really happy and really excited! That did it for me! I wanted to take the article and the photo and walk all around the village that we live in proclaiming to all..."Look at what my daughter has done!"
As it evolved, I toned it down some, but not much. I went home and called and emailed as many friends and relatives that I could. I know that some of them thought it was truly fantastic, and truthfully, some probably thought "Oh Brother...here she goes again!" :) That is all o.k. with me.
Here is my point. Was my behavior over the top yesterday? Of course it was! Do I care? Absolutely not!!
Few people ever know the true story of children and a family except those that are in it. My daughter, and her sister and brother, have been the primary focus of my life, and my husband's as well. When we decided to have children my husband and I made the choice for one of us to be the full time parent, and in our relationship, it was me. Were there times of struggle and doubt and challenge and hair pulling? Yup. Being a good parent is the hardest job on earth.
I have said that there are as many ways as there are people to be a good parent to you kids I do not proclaim or claim to have all the answers, or the lock on raising kids. I do know that as I read the article about my daughter yesterday, and enjoyed the telling of her tale, I was happy and proud and content. I had an amazing acknowledgement that the time my husband and I put into our daughter and the struggles that occurred along the way, were worth it. Maybe some kids can thrive naturally, but I truly believe that the more effort and thought and care you put into the time you have with your kids, the more productive and complete they will become.
Not one person on earth goes through their life without struggle. Our family is no exception. We went though challenging periods of time with all 3 of our kids. Anyone who says they have not struggled while raising their children, is probably a liar or delusional! Raising kids is hard work, work that requires time and effort and thought and planning. It also involves flexibility and a little bit of luck as well. I do know, that for me, being lucky enough to have the option economically to stay home, made a big difference. I know many parents who do not have that choice or luxury. But, being a parent that stays home with your children does not guarantee success. Being a parent that is involved and loving and does the work, those are the qualities that bring success, no matter where you are, home or working outside the home.
In some of my earlier pieces, I talked about "Filling up your child's bucket" the concept of taking the time and exerting the energy to help each of your children find the path in life that works for them. I do think that if parents choose to be aware, and involved and nurturing, kids can and will find the path in life that is for them. Taking the time to notice and encourage and listen to what is important to your children, and then supporting them in their efforts will, in my opinion, go a long way to helping them become competent successful adults. Success in adulthood does not mean money. It means feeling whole, knowing yourself, all the parts of yourself. Each one of us has parts that are good, and also parts that are flawed or challenging. The successful adult accepts all of those parts, and because of and in spite of those qualities, chooses their own path with confidence, courage and strength of character.
So, yesterday I was celebrating! Celebrating a couple things. I was celebrating our daughter for who she is, what she has accomplished and most importantly, the quality of character she continues to demonstrate in her life. I was also celebrating myself, and my husband for the time and energy and love we invested in this lovely young woman. And, I was also celebrating our family, for it takes everyone to help each child grow into who they are meant to be. I know that Anne's brother and sister were equally thrilled for her, as were her grandmothers and aunts and uncles and cousins.
Children are a precious commodity. Take the time. Do the work. Be invested.
Who knows? The New York Times! Wow!
Until I get motivated again,
Pam
I don't even know when I wrote the last time. I have been basically lazy this summer, and goofing around. But, yesterday, in the New York Times, there was a full page article about my daughter, Anne, which leads me to the title I chose for today's piece.
Yesterday began with my daughter's fiance calling me and my husband at 7:00 am to tell us about the article. He was so excited and proud and I loved that he chose to make the call. Anne had said she would call us later, but he took the lead and said it was time then! Again, I loved his passion and excitement.
My husband and I had an inkling that this article was going to be published sometime near the end of July. The section that the article appeared in runs on Wednesdays and we were clued into checking the paper yesterday. So, when Patrick called, we were not surprised, just really really excited!
I then chose to figure out how I could legitimately spend my day telling as many people as I could about Anne in the New York Times, the lead in title being, "The Rise of a Cheesemonger." Reading her story made me immensely proud, and that led to my perhaps over the top behavior yesterday. ( I don't know who could blame me!)
In our local Starbucks, they have a news stand that sells the New York Times. I went in and bought all that they had ( it was just 4...could have been a lot more) and then when I went to pay for them, a woman in line asked me why I was buying 4 papers....I said..."Because my kid is in it!" I don't normally talk like that, I don't even refer to my children as "my kid", those words just came out of their own accord! I then, sat down, and read the article and grinned and grinned and grinned! Here on the top of the page, was a picture of Anne smiling amongst all sorts of the cheeses that she sells, and she looked really happy and really excited! That did it for me! I wanted to take the article and the photo and walk all around the village that we live in proclaiming to all..."Look at what my daughter has done!"
As it evolved, I toned it down some, but not much. I went home and called and emailed as many friends and relatives that I could. I know that some of them thought it was truly fantastic, and truthfully, some probably thought "Oh Brother...here she goes again!" :) That is all o.k. with me.
Here is my point. Was my behavior over the top yesterday? Of course it was! Do I care? Absolutely not!!
Few people ever know the true story of children and a family except those that are in it. My daughter, and her sister and brother, have been the primary focus of my life, and my husband's as well. When we decided to have children my husband and I made the choice for one of us to be the full time parent, and in our relationship, it was me. Were there times of struggle and doubt and challenge and hair pulling? Yup. Being a good parent is the hardest job on earth.
I have said that there are as many ways as there are people to be a good parent to you kids I do not proclaim or claim to have all the answers, or the lock on raising kids. I do know that as I read the article about my daughter yesterday, and enjoyed the telling of her tale, I was happy and proud and content. I had an amazing acknowledgement that the time my husband and I put into our daughter and the struggles that occurred along the way, were worth it. Maybe some kids can thrive naturally, but I truly believe that the more effort and thought and care you put into the time you have with your kids, the more productive and complete they will become.
Not one person on earth goes through their life without struggle. Our family is no exception. We went though challenging periods of time with all 3 of our kids. Anyone who says they have not struggled while raising their children, is probably a liar or delusional! Raising kids is hard work, work that requires time and effort and thought and planning. It also involves flexibility and a little bit of luck as well. I do know, that for me, being lucky enough to have the option economically to stay home, made a big difference. I know many parents who do not have that choice or luxury. But, being a parent that stays home with your children does not guarantee success. Being a parent that is involved and loving and does the work, those are the qualities that bring success, no matter where you are, home or working outside the home.
In some of my earlier pieces, I talked about "Filling up your child's bucket" the concept of taking the time and exerting the energy to help each of your children find the path in life that works for them. I do think that if parents choose to be aware, and involved and nurturing, kids can and will find the path in life that is for them. Taking the time to notice and encourage and listen to what is important to your children, and then supporting them in their efforts will, in my opinion, go a long way to helping them become competent successful adults. Success in adulthood does not mean money. It means feeling whole, knowing yourself, all the parts of yourself. Each one of us has parts that are good, and also parts that are flawed or challenging. The successful adult accepts all of those parts, and because of and in spite of those qualities, chooses their own path with confidence, courage and strength of character.
So, yesterday I was celebrating! Celebrating a couple things. I was celebrating our daughter for who she is, what she has accomplished and most importantly, the quality of character she continues to demonstrate in her life. I was also celebrating myself, and my husband for the time and energy and love we invested in this lovely young woman. And, I was also celebrating our family, for it takes everyone to help each child grow into who they are meant to be. I know that Anne's brother and sister were equally thrilled for her, as were her grandmothers and aunts and uncles and cousins.
Children are a precious commodity. Take the time. Do the work. Be invested.
Who knows? The New York Times! Wow!
Until I get motivated again,
Pam
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