Reading is FUNdamental

This week I am attempting to talk about reading… why it’s important, what it does for you, and why you should model it for your kids.

As soon as our oldest, Anne, was able to sit on my lap (without falling over) I started reading to her.

The books were cloth. While we read those first books, she would slobber on them, and chew the pages. She got a variety of sensory experiences!

Our next two children had the same experience… well, maybe with new books that they could put their own slobber on!

I have always loved to read… I could pass many a day, if I could get away with it, reading.

Why?

Well… it’s what allows us to become.

It allows us to become educated, entertained, informed, and literate.

Understanding the written word opens children’s minds to endless possibilities. When a child learns to read, they literally have the world at their fingertips.

Have you ever witnessed that  “AH-HA” moment when a child first understands something?  The instant their brain makes a new connection?  It is powerful.

Books do that.

Okay, reading anywhere and on anything can do that, but I am partial to the good old book. I like hardcover books the best.

You can hold a book in your hands. You touch it, feel it, and if you’re crazy like me, you can also smell it. Yup, I love the smell of a new book.

I am proud to say that I have passed these quirky traits onto my three kids!

As a parent first, then teacher, and now grandparent, I know that helping children love the printed word empowers them.

When you help a child read, encourage them to read, and help them become masterful at that skill, you set them up to be masters of their own destiny.

Think of the compelling stories of now famous people who understood the power of reading. Benjamin Franklin and Mark Twain taught themselves to read… look what they became!

When you open a book, when your kids open a book, when anyone opens a book, endless possibilities begin.

A fiction book takes you on marvelous imaginative adventures.

Books about real people and real experiences inspire.

Books about how to do something can help you become anything. A rocket scientist, a painter, an engineer, the next social media mogul!

So, come on!

Give your kids lots of books!  Go to the library, have piles of them at your house. Teachers, have piles of them in your classrooms.

Let your kids catch you reading… who knows what each of you will become?

Until next time,

Pam

On Being a Mom: Then and Now

This week I am thinking about what it was like for my mom, for me, and now for my daughter, to be a mom.

I wonder if each generation thinks the one before had it easier or harder.

When I was growing up during the ‘60s and ‘70s, my mom was at home. She worked a bit, outside of the home, but not for most of those early years.

As I remember, my mom spent a lot of time caring for us. She cooked, cleaned, and supervised us. We were allowed then to run freely in the neighborhood, with a group of moms keeping an eye on us.

I don’t know if my mom had the same choices that I did. She was a very smart woman. I wonder if she wanted to do anything different, or if being with us was what she truly enjoyed most.

As we got older, my mom did decide to go to work. It was for economic reasons, not necessarily choice.

I was the first one in my family to go to college and complete a degree. My parents, both of them, wanted that for me.

After college, I got engaged and worked for a year before I got married.

My husband and I knew that we wanted a family while we were younger, and so a year after we were married we had Anne, our oldest child.

My profession is teaching, so I chose to work until Anne was born, and then stayed home with her, and her siblings that followed, for about 10 years.

I too spent a lot of my time caring for our children, not that differently than my mom, yet my generation of moms was on the go… a lot!

Now that Anne has two children, it seems to me that the pace is very different.

Of all the younger moms I know, the percentage of those that work outside the home is much larger now.

I marvel at the delicate balancing act that’s required to keep all the proverbial dishes spinning without a huge crash!

My daughter runs her own business, serves on an economic development committee and is illustrating my next children’s book.

I think about what I did… is it that different?  I had three children, worked part time, and also served on two boards. My husband traveled a lot.

Is it that when we are in the Mommy phase, we just do it all?

My mom seemed to have a kinder, gentler pace, but did she?

She managed the household, volunteered, helped my dad with his business, kept us out of trouble, cooked, cleaned, did the laundry and still found time to be with friends.

I did a lot of the same things, yet felt I had choices to make about being a mom and what that looked like for me.

I wonder how Anne feels. I know she’s worked very hard to have her own business… I wonder if she would like her life to be calmer, or if that is just the way life is as a mom.

Do moms get to choose?

Maybe it’s always been the same.

Being a mom isn’t easy, never was, and probably never will be.

But I wouldn’t change it.

Until next time,

Pam

No One Likes to Feel Dumb: Helping Kids Overcome Academic Obstacles

After thinking a lot about what to write today with the help of a trusted advisor, I am sharing a story about helping your child through a challenge.

I asked our youngest daughter, Megan, before sharing her story today.

Megan began to experience difficulty in school around the age of 8. 

In preschool and early elementary school, I had my suspicions, but was told not to worry—all kids even out.

Although that’s true, by the time kids reach third grade, it’s important to make sure they are functioning well, and if not, help figure that out.

We were fortunate to have a great school system, and that does make a difference.

Megan’s fourth grade teacher, Mary, and I had a wonderful partnership.  She listened to what I was wondering, and began to monitor and affirm what my concerns were. 

Fourth grade starts to require more independence and processing for kids.

Mary and I both noticed gaps between what Megan understood and her performance. She would have trouble on tests, on completion of assignments, and on overall consistency.

No one likes to feel dumb.

Because I was an educator as well, it was easy for Mary and I to talk the same language and come up with a plan.

Our school district listened and agreed to have Megan undergo an evaluation to determine how she learned and what would help her achieve.

Kids know when they don’t get it, but don’t know how to ask for and get the help they need.

Through the help of many professionals and trusted people, Mary and I came up with a plan and a program to help Megan realize her full potential.

Learning differently—all of us have our own learning style.

At the beginning of the second term, strategies, plans and accommodations were put into place for Megan.

She began to see results.  Her ability to perform aligned with her intelligence, and that makes all the difference.

Kids need our help. 

School is their lab.  It’s where they learn a lot about themselves, how the world works, and how it relates to them.  If they aren’t able to find success in that environment, it sets up a long fight for personal self-worth.

Megan, I am thrilled to say, found her way well.  Some times were harder than others, but today, she is a teacher with not one, but two Masters degrees. She advocates for kids all the time.

Parenting:  both a noun and a verb.

Helping your kids be who they can be and need to be—that’s our job.

Trust your gut; you know your kids better than anyone!

Until next time,

Pam

A Series of Parenting Faux Pas

Last week I wrote about getting some things right in my parenting journey. 

It felt pretty good to tell that story. This week, well…

Throughout my parenting journey (and a journey it is—you never reach the final destination, it just changes shape along the way), I have made some mistakes.

I tried to be mindful of treating our kids equally.  Each one had the same chance to try sports they were interested in, classes they wanted to attend, and interests they wanted to pursue.

I also had an equal number of photos of each of them, as well as a display of their awards and accomplishments.  Still do.

No favorite kid… all equally represented.

So, it’s only fitting that they all got to participate in these adventures while growing up.

As a busy mom of three kids, I know whether you work outside of your home, or at home, scheduling is a mammoth task.  

I prided myself on keeping the ship upright and running.  Always picking up, dropping off, and getting everyone where they needed to be in a timely manner.

That is, until I forgot each of them.

I can’t remember where they each got left, but left they were.

All three incidents were rectified with someone calling me. If the kids were in grade school, as I think they were, it went something like this…

“Mom, where are you?”

To which I replied, “UH… sorry, on my way!”  A lame response, and being the smart kids they were, they knew the truth.

Gratefully, I only did this once to each of them.

Again, all equally represented.

The next episode is one that I think they can all recall.

It had to be winter, it had to be near dinner time, and it most likely happened while my husband was out of town.

We were, all four of us, in the local supermarket parking lot.

On the ride over, everyone had been doing the old “She’s touching me/He’s touching me; stop it! MOM!”

As we got out of the car, I lost it.

Standing right in the middle of the parking lot, I yelled something really intelligent like, “SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP… all of you!”

A woman, who was going to her car with a full cart of groceries, stopped and gawked… open-mouthed, if I remember right.

I thought to myself, hmm… maybe she’s going to call the Department of Children and Family Services. Before she could, the four of us got ourselves together and went into the store.

There you have it—no one’s perfect… just keep trying!

Until next time,

Pam