Remember... You're the Boss!!

Hi!

Quick thought...was at lunch with a younger friend of mine yesterday...we were watching all sorts of kids and Moms navigate the lunch crowd at a local sandwich shop

Some kids and Moms were doing well... and others not so.  Brie and I shared the thought that it is ok to tell your kids no, and expect them to have manners and behave in public...

Just saying... it is o.k. and good to be the boss... that's how your kids learn rules of decorum!

Until next time,

Pam

Successful parenting.... Kudos to you M and P!

Hello!

This week I have the fun and wonderful chance to spend time in my favorite place, Islamorada Florida.

Bill and I have a home here, and for that alone I am grateful!  This week we are spending time with some of our best friends and their two boys.  Their boys are grown, yet because they have Autism, they are still living with them.

Each and every time I get the opportunity to spend time with the boys and our friends, I am humbled and awed at their commitment, expertise, love, and shared parenting.  The boys are almost 27 and because of our friends, their lives are filled with opportunity, travel and an abundance of love!

If ever I think parenting is hard, all I have to do is look to them and the example they set..

We, Bill and I and our whole family, are blessed to have them in our lives, and call them our friends!

Kudos M and P!!!!

Until next time,

Pam

Delayed adulthood...

Hello!

Recently I read an article in the New York Times.  The title of the article was "The Case for Delayed Adulthood." It made me think...

If you are any kind of neurotic parent ( I would argue that includes all of us)  you have stressed from time to time about how to help your kids grow up well and become competent, non-f*@ked up adults.  I think that is the ultimate goal in procreating! So, when I read this article I wish I would have had this information earlier, although to be honest, I think Bill and I did do some of things mentioned in it.  I am sure you can find it in the Times archives if you are interested.  The publication date was September 21, 2014.

What struck me the most, was the quote "Taking longer to grow up and settle down may be better for a young person's brain."  The thought is that prolonged adolescence can actually" foster novelty-seeking and the acquisition of new skills".  This intrigues me...

Along with helping our kids achieve the basic requirements of person-hood, what about also giving them space to investigate and discover along the way.  School is a good place for learning, but perhaps not the ideal place for creative thinking, unless you are in a great educational setting that seeks to expand thought, not just knowledge, and as we all know, sometimes we are parental victims of the school district we live in, unless you have a great froward thinking school, or are able to find exactly the right setting for your kids.

What I took from this article, is that intellectual and creative stimulation has great benefit in long term health and development.  When kids, and adults, are seeking, learning, challenging, and looking for stimulating experiences, their brain expands, becomes more open and able to adapt to change.  Ultimately, people then are more able to find their way through life and it's challenges.

I would suggest that while we raise our kids to become competent adults, we should evaluate what that looks like, in terms of time.  There is no set age when an "adult" merges... maybe by allowing and encouraging growth, creativity, exposure to travel, adventure and novel experiences we help create even more competent, less stressed and happy adults.

The final paragraph of the article is:

"If brain plasticity is maintained by staying engaged in new, demanding and cognitively stimulating activity, and if entering into the repetitive and less exiting roles of worker and spouse helps close the window of plasticity, delaying adulthood is not only O.K.; it can be a boon."

So, don't worry.  If your kids need more time to find their way, like one of my favorite kids books "Leo the Late Bloomer" it may actually be better for them in the marathon that is life!

Hmmmm...worth thinking about!

Until next,

Pam

What would Bear think?

Hi!

I have been thinking about what Bear would think about all this hype. He was actually just hanging around minding his own business being Max's buddy, before this book came along!

It's funny, when Max sees a copy of the the book he looks at the front cover and says "Dada Bear!"  That's his affectionate name for his beloved pal... and beloved Bear is!  He has a steady place right next to Max throughout the day.  If he is gone for long, or left in another part of the house, soon Max is actively calling for him and looking for him.  I have been asked many a time to help find "Dada Bear."   

I believe that Bear is quite happy about this development, because as you know, he had to wait for some time to have Max find him and realize just how great he is!  And realize that, Max has!

I am certain that Bear is feeling quite pleased with himself.  Bear has been Max's trusted companion as he's learned to navigate this recent "big brother" thing.   Thanks to Bear, Max has someone he can hug, love, transport in his mouth like a mother cat, give baths in the toilet, give dog bowl baths, accompany him to the park, and most importantly take to bed with him.  

I bet the stories they share at night, just the two of them, are quite spectacular!

Maybe that is why Bear always looks to me, like he knows something none of the rest of us do!

Just wondering...

Until next time,

Pam