The Basics

Hi,

It's Tuesday!

I have been spending a lot of time thinking about this week's blog. Over the course of the last week, I have had the unique opportunity to spend many hours conversing with one of my adult children about parents and parenting. Her profession requires her to spend lots of time with young adults. This has led me to the idea that before I continue to comment on styles of parenting and parenting choices, I first need to talk about the basics!

In thinking back to what I have written these past few weeks, I realize that parenting is perhaps an even greater challenge than I had originally considered.. and I consider that parenting is hard. Are we victims to the type of parenting we receive? Are we destined to make the same mistakes over and over? Does our economic status create the type of parent we are? Do we have any choice in what type of parent we are? Do cycles have to repeat? I can not claim to have a definitive answer. I do claim however, to have passionate opinions and strong instincts.

When I was talking with my daughter about the issues she is confronted with daily, I began thinking about parenting and choices adults make. I don't think that anyone who brings a child into this world begins with the premise of how can I mess this lovely little being up! I do think that life and the places we have come from can make being a good parent harder. I don't think that economics is a defining factor in who will or will not be a good parent. Sometimes adults from even the best of life's economic groups make lousy parents! We can read about this any day in publications from around the world !

Good parenting is a conscious choice. Is it harder if you have to spend more time than others wondering how to keep your kids safe and how to get food on the table? I suppose it may be, but what about the parents who don't have any of those worries and still make lousy choices? I suggest that good parenting is an absence of selfishness . Good parents choose in their child's best interest. Good parents make the hard choice. That hard choice may be to feed their kids instead of themselves, or not go on that fancy trip because their child has a performance or event they would otherwise miss.

Good parenting means that you put your child first, that once you bring that person into this world your needs are secondary. Your child's needs are first. Good parenting means you continually demonstrate that your children are important through what you do, not just what you say. My Dad used to say "Do as I say and not as I do!" I love you Dad, but I disagree. Good parenting means that you take the time and all the time that is necessary to do the right thing. Good parenting means you work hard to both say and do the right thing. If you mess up, and you will because we are all human, try again!

Demonstrate through your thoughts, and words and most importantly your actions that your children come first. That you are there for them, that you love them unconditionally and that they can count on you. Those basics don't cost a thing.

Back to the basics. The basics of good parenting, they don't cost a thing and just might create a priceless commodity..
Healthy, well adjusted adults!

Until next time!

Pam