Hello All!
First Christmas, and a Wedding!
I am not even sure how to process all the stuff that is going on....
Life has so many events and moments and parts, and evolutions, you know what I mean.
In light of all that happened in our country this last week, I am taking time to embrace all that is good...relishing the moments, remembering to pause and appreciate.
So, this next week will be a First Christmas, and then a wonderful celebration, the marriage of our son and his lovely bride....
Blessings....
Can't wait!
Happy and healthy holidays!
Until next year,
Pam
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Friday, December 14, 2012
The Mystery...
Hello All.
As I sit here late on a Friday night, after spending the morning and afternoon with Anne and the lovely baby Max, I am thinking about the power of one person. One little special person to a number of people that multiplies exponentially, as we text and share and smile at the arrival of a new life and all that means. After just two weeks on earth, this one little boy has added depth and joy and love to so many....
Imagine... if we can all continue to think like that, and embrace the joy of each life....all that that would bring.....
Until next time.
Pam
As I sit here late on a Friday night, after spending the morning and afternoon with Anne and the lovely baby Max, I am thinking about the power of one person. One little special person to a number of people that multiplies exponentially, as we text and share and smile at the arrival of a new life and all that means. After just two weeks on earth, this one little boy has added depth and joy and love to so many....
Imagine... if we can all continue to think like that, and embrace the joy of each life....all that that would bring.....
Until next time.
Pam
Friday, November 30, 2012
Finally :)
Hello All!
Well, today begins a brand brand new chapter...
Max William Martins arrived at 9:29 am....weighing in at 8lbs. 11oz. and measuring 53 centimeters..
Needless to say....he is loved beyond words.....
Mom and baby are doing wonderfully.
Until next time, and with great joy!
Pam
Well, today begins a brand brand new chapter...
Max William Martins arrived at 9:29 am....weighing in at 8lbs. 11oz. and measuring 53 centimeters..
Needless to say....he is loved beyond words.....
Mom and baby are doing wonderfully.
Until next time, and with great joy!
Pam
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Here we go!
Morning All!
A beautiful new person will arrive either late tonight or sometime tomorrow....Anne and her husband Patrick and their doctor have decided tonight is the night...enough already baby...time to see the world!
A cosmic shift....
Until next time,
Pam
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
waiting...
Hello All!
Waiting....we are playing the waiting game...
Will post again after the new baby decides to make her/his appearance....darn kids...they let you know right from the beginning that you are only sort of in charge!
Until the baby arrives,
Pam
p.s. Anne's business is back up and running...am thankful for that...hey...how about everyone checking out Saxelby Cheesemongers... and place an order....as my surrogate son Kevin would say "That would be great!"
Waiting....we are playing the waiting game...
Will post again after the new baby decides to make her/his appearance....darn kids...they let you know right from the beginning that you are only sort of in charge!
Until the baby arrives,
Pam
p.s. Anne's business is back up and running...am thankful for that...hey...how about everyone checking out Saxelby Cheesemongers... and place an order....as my surrogate son Kevin would say "That would be great!"
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Resilience...aka how not to be a WIMP
Hi All,
This will probably be a shorter post...
I have been thinking about Resilience. I have capitalized it because I think that makes it look more important, stand out..
In this past week one of our children has had to deal with a major set back. She has a business in New York that suffered a lot of damage due to "Super Storm Sandy". As a parent, you think about what you can do when your kids are going through challenges, and the best answer I think is support. However that looks, your physical presence, your words on the phone or email, texts etc.
During this time of Anne evaluating and assessing what is needed, I have to say, I am proud of her. Of course as a parent, and if you are someone who chooses to read these posts, you are probably quite involved in your children's lives. My husband and I had a goal to make, or I guess help, our kids develop life skills that would serve them well, in all of life... the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Life does not often present Nirvana, yet life is often really good. In my opinion, if we as parents are able to help our kids grow into resilient adults, we have done them a great service.
Resilience, as defined by my computer dictionary is:
"the power to recover readily from adversity"
And then, to take it one step further, help our kids be able to demonstrate and practice Resiliency...
Resiliency.....defined as " the ability to spring back".
As I continue to go through life now as a parent of adults, I think those 2 qualities are the best gift we can give our children....in any age or stage.
I can still be quite a wimp....but at least they aren't!
Until next time,
Pam
This will probably be a shorter post...
I have been thinking about Resilience. I have capitalized it because I think that makes it look more important, stand out..
In this past week one of our children has had to deal with a major set back. She has a business in New York that suffered a lot of damage due to "Super Storm Sandy". As a parent, you think about what you can do when your kids are going through challenges, and the best answer I think is support. However that looks, your physical presence, your words on the phone or email, texts etc.
During this time of Anne evaluating and assessing what is needed, I have to say, I am proud of her. Of course as a parent, and if you are someone who chooses to read these posts, you are probably quite involved in your children's lives. My husband and I had a goal to make, or I guess help, our kids develop life skills that would serve them well, in all of life... the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Life does not often present Nirvana, yet life is often really good. In my opinion, if we as parents are able to help our kids grow into resilient adults, we have done them a great service.
Resilience, as defined by my computer dictionary is:
"the power to recover readily from adversity"
And then, to take it one step further, help our kids be able to demonstrate and practice Resiliency...
Resiliency.....defined as " the ability to spring back".
As I continue to go through life now as a parent of adults, I think those 2 qualities are the best gift we can give our children....in any age or stage.
I can still be quite a wimp....but at least they aren't!
Until next time,
Pam
Friday, October 19, 2012
Asking...
Hello!
Last night I went to a Skin of Steel event.
I am revisiting a summer post.
I ask everyone to take a minute and think about how important your skin is.
Check out Skin of Steel.
Make a donation to help set up a tissue bank right here in Chicago.
Tissue banks for breast cancer changed the treatment, outcome and survival rates for that disease.
Everyone has skin, not just women.
www.skinofsteel.org
It matters. Your donation could be the one to make this happen.
Do it.
Until next time, Pam
Last night I went to a Skin of Steel event.
I am revisiting a summer post.
I ask everyone to take a minute and think about how important your skin is.
Check out Skin of Steel.
Make a donation to help set up a tissue bank right here in Chicago.
Tissue banks for breast cancer changed the treatment, outcome and survival rates for that disease.
Everyone has skin, not just women.
www.skinofsteel.org
It matters. Your donation could be the one to make this happen.
Do it.
Until next time, Pam
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Phase .01
Hello!
So to begin the next phase of this blogging attempt of mine.
First, I want to put a disclaimer on here that my grammar and spelling, although I will attempt to be correct, may not always be. I have discovered that although I feel I have become more able with this whole computer thing, I still have more that I don't know to learn. Yes, I am sure that there are many tools, links, apps, I have no idea about, and so far, for the last 56 years, I have been fine without them. I will continue to attempt update my skills, yet I do not have a deadline for that accomplishment.
As I said in my last blog, already a whole month ago, I am going to try a new format idea. Maybe format is not the right word, but a new way of sharing. I had to first ask all my kids, and by all I mean 3, if it was okey dokey with them if I actually talked about them in this next attempt, and they said "Yes". We will see if that stands... :) I have of course shared some stories about them throughout the past 3 years in my blogging, but here I want to design this next part as a "How to Grow a Family" idea, and all that comes with that...all that my husband and I know of what we have done and shared and learned up to this point. And, we are at a new point...we are about to become Grandparents for the first time. A new chapter, a new chapter for our whole family, each and every one. Bill and I will become Grandparents, and the main character is yet to be announced...we do not know who this baby is, or even if it is a he or she. Anne and Patrick are going to be parents for the first time, I suppose they technically already are, or there would be no baby on the brink of arrival. My other children Megan, and Bill and Bill's fiancee Megan, are about to become aunts and an uncle....a big new chapter for all of them too! I know I had a phone conversation with my daughter, Megan, yesterday and she was informing me that her goal is to be a big player in this new person's life. When I talked with Anne today, she said Bill and his Megan are excited about babysitting. And, Bill and I are renting an apartment in New York for 6 weeks, at the request of Anne and Patrick, to be there. To help them, to be right down the street instead of a plane ride away...so here we go!
I titled this Blog Phase .01 because I thought it was clever ( self serving of me) and thought it described the facts. Anne and Patrick and all of us in this family are about to be part of a big new adventure, yet we are all still in the waiting phase. I also thought about calling this blog a number of other things, like
"No Clue", "Blissful Ignorance", "What Have We Done", "No One Told Me", you get the idea.
I had the chance today to have a lovely conversation with Anne, one of the main players in this new endeavor, about how she was feeling and what she was doing. She shared with me that she was talking recently to a number of new Moms who took some time off before the baby arrived to settle and get organized and catch their breath before the baby arrived. I told her I thought that was an idea that held a lot of merit. Yet, knowing my daughter, she will decide for herself what makes sense, and how these last few weeks of waiting will look for her. I told her what I thought....that was it. She gets to make up her own mind.
And, so we come to the part of the blog that I think really gets to it. When you are expecting your first child, you really, and I mean really, have NO CLUE about what your life will become quite shortly. I know that I shared a story in one of my previous blogs, about the first night we brought Anne home from the hospital. Every time we brought her into our bedroom to feed her, we thought it would be a great idea to change her diaper on our bed, and it took us 6 times to realize that maybe that was not a good idea, as she peed all over our bed each and every time. REALLY? Yes, really...you would have thought that given the fact that Bill and I both have college degrees and are, in my opinion, pretty smart people, that we did not need that big of a learning curve, yet we did! I laugh now and love to share that story, and it also speaks to the heart of parenting, trial and error.
No one truly knows what it is like to be a parent until it actually happens. I know that Bill and I had a rough idea of what we were hoping to be and do as parents. I know Anne and Patrick have talked about it. I love them both, yet know although the talk is good, important and necessary, all it is right now is talk. Becoming a parent is an action verb. Parent is a noun, and parenting is a verb. When we become parents, we spend the rest of our lives in the action verb phase. I know that at 56 I am still in that phase, and love it.
I told Anne today as we were talking, that although you can imagine what holding your baby will be like, you can not anticipate the unadulterated joy and unconditional love you will feel and have once you get to actually meet your baby. I shared with her again, how I felt holding her. Soon, I will get to hear her version of that unique, life changing event. I can't wait....
Let the games begin..... I am off to buy a crib and and some other new baby bed that connects right to Anne and Patrick's for the baby's first months.......and attend a Baby Shower in New York, where I am the Grandmother to be....WOW!
Until next time,
Pam
So to begin the next phase of this blogging attempt of mine.
First, I want to put a disclaimer on here that my grammar and spelling, although I will attempt to be correct, may not always be. I have discovered that although I feel I have become more able with this whole computer thing, I still have more that I don't know to learn. Yes, I am sure that there are many tools, links, apps, I have no idea about, and so far, for the last 56 years, I have been fine without them. I will continue to attempt update my skills, yet I do not have a deadline for that accomplishment.
As I said in my last blog, already a whole month ago, I am going to try a new format idea. Maybe format is not the right word, but a new way of sharing. I had to first ask all my kids, and by all I mean 3, if it was okey dokey with them if I actually talked about them in this next attempt, and they said "Yes". We will see if that stands... :) I have of course shared some stories about them throughout the past 3 years in my blogging, but here I want to design this next part as a "How to Grow a Family" idea, and all that comes with that...all that my husband and I know of what we have done and shared and learned up to this point. And, we are at a new point...we are about to become Grandparents for the first time. A new chapter, a new chapter for our whole family, each and every one. Bill and I will become Grandparents, and the main character is yet to be announced...we do not know who this baby is, or even if it is a he or she. Anne and Patrick are going to be parents for the first time, I suppose they technically already are, or there would be no baby on the brink of arrival. My other children Megan, and Bill and Bill's fiancee Megan, are about to become aunts and an uncle....a big new chapter for all of them too! I know I had a phone conversation with my daughter, Megan, yesterday and she was informing me that her goal is to be a big player in this new person's life. When I talked with Anne today, she said Bill and his Megan are excited about babysitting. And, Bill and I are renting an apartment in New York for 6 weeks, at the request of Anne and Patrick, to be there. To help them, to be right down the street instead of a plane ride away...so here we go!
I titled this Blog Phase .01 because I thought it was clever ( self serving of me) and thought it described the facts. Anne and Patrick and all of us in this family are about to be part of a big new adventure, yet we are all still in the waiting phase. I also thought about calling this blog a number of other things, like
"No Clue", "Blissful Ignorance", "What Have We Done", "No One Told Me", you get the idea.
I had the chance today to have a lovely conversation with Anne, one of the main players in this new endeavor, about how she was feeling and what she was doing. She shared with me that she was talking recently to a number of new Moms who took some time off before the baby arrived to settle and get organized and catch their breath before the baby arrived. I told her I thought that was an idea that held a lot of merit. Yet, knowing my daughter, she will decide for herself what makes sense, and how these last few weeks of waiting will look for her. I told her what I thought....that was it. She gets to make up her own mind.
No one truly knows what it is like to be a parent until it actually happens. I know that Bill and I had a rough idea of what we were hoping to be and do as parents. I know Anne and Patrick have talked about it. I love them both, yet know although the talk is good, important and necessary, all it is right now is talk. Becoming a parent is an action verb. Parent is a noun, and parenting is a verb. When we become parents, we spend the rest of our lives in the action verb phase. I know that at 56 I am still in that phase, and love it.
I told Anne today as we were talking, that although you can imagine what holding your baby will be like, you can not anticipate the unadulterated joy and unconditional love you will feel and have once you get to actually meet your baby. I shared with her again, how I felt holding her. Soon, I will get to hear her version of that unique, life changing event. I can't wait....
Let the games begin..... I am off to buy a crib and and some other new baby bed that connects right to Anne and Patrick's for the baby's first months.......and attend a Baby Shower in New York, where I am the Grandmother to be....WOW!
Until next time,
Pam
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Firsts
Hello!
It is the first of firsts I am thinking about. The first time I have sat down to write in a while. The first day I have not gone to preschool the day after labor day for 20 years. The first September without my Mom. The first fall I am totally in charge of myself. The first time I am contempalting a grandchild. The first time I am trying to figure out what to do with myself for a long long time.
Today I saw Jamie Lee Curtis on the Today Show. I like her. She is a woman who seems to take on life as she sees fit. I also like what she had to say about her life, and how it has evolved. She shared with the host on the show, Natalie Morales, (sorry if your last name is spelled incorrectly Natalie) that life presents it's way to her. She said she is not one of those people who makes a plan and works a plan. She is the kind of person who opens herself to ideas, and then sees what happens.
I like that thought! My husband is a planner extrordinaire. He makes a plan, works a plan, and delivers on the plans he sets. I on the other hand, have always been a more "fly by the seat of my pants" kind of gal. ( I love that word "Gal"). I have generally designed my life around major events and chapters in life. I finished highschool, went to college, got married, raised our family, started teaching preshool when our youngest went to school...etc. Now, for the first time, I have no life event to plan my life around or decide what my next step should be.
Jamie Lee Curtis has written a new children's book. That is why she was on the Today Show in the first place. To promote her book. I think I may have to get it. I think she said it is about taking risks and the things we as parents say to our kids all the time. Things like "Go ahead! Try something new. Believe in yourself. Take a risk. Join a new group at school. Try it what do you have to loose" and other parent type things we all say to our kids as they are growing up. I have personally said most if not all of those things to my own children. Now, guess what? I have to say them to myself.
So, now I think the first thing I am going to do is figure out how I want to re-tool this blog. I have some ideas, I have some thoughts. Now I just have to go ahead and try something new.
I still say all those types of things to my adult kids. I guess now I will have to put my money where my mouth is and do it!
Stay tuned...
Until next time,
Pam
Thursday, July 12, 2012
The Gift...addendum
Hi!
My Husband's mantra is:
Decide what you want to tell people
Tell them
Tell them again
Here's my point.
1.) Stuff happens
2.) Decide how to deal-be a good example to your kids
3.) Do something that matters
4.) Make a difference
I choose to ask all of you to check out-
skinofsteel.org/
We all have skin. It matters!
Until next time,
Pam
My Husband's mantra is:
Decide what you want to tell people
Tell them
Tell them again
Here's my point.
1.) Stuff happens
2.) Decide how to deal-be a good example to your kids
3.) Do something that matters
4.) Make a difference
I choose to ask all of you to check out-
skinofsteel.org/
We all have skin. It matters!
Until next time,
Pam
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
The Gift I don't want to Give...
Hi!
I have been sending out little "bloglets" ( my new term) as I figured out how to write this post. Here goes...
Usually when I write, I sit in our dining room and look out the front windows. Today I am mixing it up, and sitting at our kitchen table and scanning the backyard. It is actually lovely outside. A breeze is blowing in, and scattering my papers around.
The papers filled with scraps of thoughts and ideas about what this blog will say.
The last blog I wrote I title "Life and it's Stuff". I liked the title, still do. It is true. The longer we are all around, the more stuff we have. Don't believe anyone if they say they don't have any "stuff", cause they are just big fat liars.
Since I wrote that last full post, I have ended my career at the Preschool where I was fortunate enough to have taught for the last 20 years. I think it is 20 years, if not, it is 21 or 19 or maybe even 22, but a long time. During the time that I was deciding to change my life, and try different things, spend energy in other places, life decided to give me a kick. Here's my story.
I was being a good adult. I was doing what my dermatologist had told me to do. I was following up with him every 6 months to take good care of myself and my skin. Three years ago, I had these funky looking red bumps appear in a spot on my skin. We, my doctor and me, spent about 6-8 weeks trying to figure out what those bumps actually were. It turned out to be Melanoma-insitu. YIKES! I was concerned and scared. Whenever anyone hears the "M" word it is scary. My doctor took good care of me, and so I thought, WHEW that is the end of that. Well, this past April when I went in for one of my ongoing checkups, my doctor noticed that near the same area, there was a skin lesion that looked darker to him. I of course thought it looked just fine. It was not just fine. It came back as Melanoma- insitu again. I had to have 2 different surgeries to get rid of the cells from this spot. The first surgery was relatively easy, it was out patient and required just a few days of resting my arm. When I went to have the stitches taken out, the surgeon said the pathology had come back that the Melanoma-insitu was not all gone. She needed to go back in and take a larger section out. I was surprised. I had not planned on this. (Duh!) The second surgery required a lot more. I had to have anesthesia, and be out for the procedure. She also took 6 other spots off my torso that my derm had suggested be removed while we were doing this anesthesia thing. It is now 2 months, and I am good. My arm was quite a site after the last surgery, and I am grateful that the pathology came back clean.
Why am I writing about this? Because, life gave me some "Stuff" and I had to figure out what to do about it.
In my post May 20th, I talked about being a parent when life and it's "Stuff" happens to our kids. What do we do about it and what is our role. My kids are all adults now, so what I hope to do is show them how to be a good adult. When you have little kids, your goal is to get them there...get them to adulthood, help your kids become all that is needed to be independent, competent, successful individuals. People, in fact! People who are able to stand on their own and know what to do when "Life and it's Stuff" presents, because it will.
Now, as our kids are growing, we have a chance to show them some examples of how to be. Since I am an officially retired Preschool teacher, I am going to periodically use the names of some of my favorite kids books while I write. There is a great kids book titled "How to Be" what the premise of the book is about is how to be a person, all the characteristics necessary to be a good person. I like this book, it is simple and entertaining. I was thinking about this. What do we need to do as parents to show how kids "How to be"? I know that along the path of raising my kids I could say I acted like a whole variety of characters out of kids literature. But, to send the right message and attempt (yes attempt) to be a good example, we parents may have to do a little trial and error, because, after all, we are all human. I would suggest that we need to be like the wise mother owl in "Owl Babies" who knows what her babies need and so provides that, instead of the chicken in "Chicken Little" always running around yelling "The Sky is Falling!" Through our behaviours and our words, we need to show our kids love, consistency, caring and stability. Of course it is fine to be human and not always be perfect, but keep on trying. I know for myself I had to actually demonstrate my own "human-ness" when I was sacred this spring dealing with Melanoma. I had to show my kids that I would not be like an ostrich who sticks it's head in the sand and hopes bad things go away, but deal with it and figure it out.
That leads me to the next part of my story. I feel compelled to get this part right. Through my journey this spring with Melanoma, I learned that a young father of 3 children in our school, is dealing with Stage IV Melanoma. I know this family. I taught their 6 year old daughter when she was 3. I have learned of their struggles and trials and hopes in working to beat this disease. In doing that, I then learned of a woman who has been dealing with Stage IV Melanoma for 7 years....which is quite remarkable, and not the norm. She, Susan Steel, started an organization called Skin of Steel, which is working to help find new treatments, trials and an eventual cure for this horrible disease, Melanoma.
So, why am I bringing all of this up here? Because, it is important. Part of parenting, and truly an important part, is to teach our kids how to "deal". Deal with all of life, not just the good stuff. I chose the title for this blog "the Gift I don't want to Give" because Melanoma is something I have had to deal with and I don't want my kids to have to deal with it. So, what can I do about that? I can help them know how to take good care of themselves, and I can help educate them.
I have learned that their is a remarkable organization right here in Chicago working to break barriers and defeat this disease called Melanoma. As I said above, the name of the organization is Skin of Steel. Look it up, check it out. It is not in my wheel house of skill sets to sell. I am an educator, a person who likes to help, a person who likes to teach people. That is what I am doing.
In life we get to choose only a few things. I am learning that.
Today, I chose to share this story.
So, to continue my Preschool lit comparison, here goes. I am choosing not to be like "Wemberly Worried" I am going to try to help figure out "What's Going On in There" and then learn, act, and decide "What to do With a Tail Like this". In doing so, I hope to continue to teach my adult children how to deal with life as effectively as they can, and to take the time to try and make a difference when it matters. Making a difference in working towards effective treatments and cures for Melanoma, now THAT matters!
If you choose, check out Skin of Steel. I guarantee it will matter.
Until next time,
Pam
I have been sending out little "bloglets" ( my new term) as I figured out how to write this post. Here goes...
Usually when I write, I sit in our dining room and look out the front windows. Today I am mixing it up, and sitting at our kitchen table and scanning the backyard. It is actually lovely outside. A breeze is blowing in, and scattering my papers around.
The papers filled with scraps of thoughts and ideas about what this blog will say.
The last blog I wrote I title "Life and it's Stuff". I liked the title, still do. It is true. The longer we are all around, the more stuff we have. Don't believe anyone if they say they don't have any "stuff", cause they are just big fat liars.
Since I wrote that last full post, I have ended my career at the Preschool where I was fortunate enough to have taught for the last 20 years. I think it is 20 years, if not, it is 21 or 19 or maybe even 22, but a long time. During the time that I was deciding to change my life, and try different things, spend energy in other places, life decided to give me a kick. Here's my story.
I was being a good adult. I was doing what my dermatologist had told me to do. I was following up with him every 6 months to take good care of myself and my skin. Three years ago, I had these funky looking red bumps appear in a spot on my skin. We, my doctor and me, spent about 6-8 weeks trying to figure out what those bumps actually were. It turned out to be Melanoma-insitu. YIKES! I was concerned and scared. Whenever anyone hears the "M" word it is scary. My doctor took good care of me, and so I thought, WHEW that is the end of that. Well, this past April when I went in for one of my ongoing checkups, my doctor noticed that near the same area, there was a skin lesion that looked darker to him. I of course thought it looked just fine. It was not just fine. It came back as Melanoma- insitu again. I had to have 2 different surgeries to get rid of the cells from this spot. The first surgery was relatively easy, it was out patient and required just a few days of resting my arm. When I went to have the stitches taken out, the surgeon said the pathology had come back that the Melanoma-insitu was not all gone. She needed to go back in and take a larger section out. I was surprised. I had not planned on this. (Duh!) The second surgery required a lot more. I had to have anesthesia, and be out for the procedure. She also took 6 other spots off my torso that my derm had suggested be removed while we were doing this anesthesia thing. It is now 2 months, and I am good. My arm was quite a site after the last surgery, and I am grateful that the pathology came back clean.
Why am I writing about this? Because, life gave me some "Stuff" and I had to figure out what to do about it.
In my post May 20th, I talked about being a parent when life and it's "Stuff" happens to our kids. What do we do about it and what is our role. My kids are all adults now, so what I hope to do is show them how to be a good adult. When you have little kids, your goal is to get them there...get them to adulthood, help your kids become all that is needed to be independent, competent, successful individuals. People, in fact! People who are able to stand on their own and know what to do when "Life and it's Stuff" presents, because it will.
Now, as our kids are growing, we have a chance to show them some examples of how to be. Since I am an officially retired Preschool teacher, I am going to periodically use the names of some of my favorite kids books while I write. There is a great kids book titled "How to Be" what the premise of the book is about is how to be a person, all the characteristics necessary to be a good person. I like this book, it is simple and entertaining. I was thinking about this. What do we need to do as parents to show how kids "How to be"? I know that along the path of raising my kids I could say I acted like a whole variety of characters out of kids literature. But, to send the right message and attempt (yes attempt) to be a good example, we parents may have to do a little trial and error, because, after all, we are all human. I would suggest that we need to be like the wise mother owl in "Owl Babies" who knows what her babies need and so provides that, instead of the chicken in "Chicken Little" always running around yelling "The Sky is Falling!" Through our behaviours and our words, we need to show our kids love, consistency, caring and stability. Of course it is fine to be human and not always be perfect, but keep on trying. I know for myself I had to actually demonstrate my own "human-ness" when I was sacred this spring dealing with Melanoma. I had to show my kids that I would not be like an ostrich who sticks it's head in the sand and hopes bad things go away, but deal with it and figure it out.
That leads me to the next part of my story. I feel compelled to get this part right. Through my journey this spring with Melanoma, I learned that a young father of 3 children in our school, is dealing with Stage IV Melanoma. I know this family. I taught their 6 year old daughter when she was 3. I have learned of their struggles and trials and hopes in working to beat this disease. In doing that, I then learned of a woman who has been dealing with Stage IV Melanoma for 7 years....which is quite remarkable, and not the norm. She, Susan Steel, started an organization called Skin of Steel, which is working to help find new treatments, trials and an eventual cure for this horrible disease, Melanoma.
So, why am I bringing all of this up here? Because, it is important. Part of parenting, and truly an important part, is to teach our kids how to "deal". Deal with all of life, not just the good stuff. I chose the title for this blog "the Gift I don't want to Give" because Melanoma is something I have had to deal with and I don't want my kids to have to deal with it. So, what can I do about that? I can help them know how to take good care of themselves, and I can help educate them.
I have learned that their is a remarkable organization right here in Chicago working to break barriers and defeat this disease called Melanoma. As I said above, the name of the organization is Skin of Steel. Look it up, check it out. It is not in my wheel house of skill sets to sell. I am an educator, a person who likes to help, a person who likes to teach people. That is what I am doing.
In life we get to choose only a few things. I am learning that.
Today, I chose to share this story.
So, to continue my Preschool lit comparison, here goes. I am choosing not to be like "Wemberly Worried" I am going to try to help figure out "What's Going On in There" and then learn, act, and decide "What to do With a Tail Like this". In doing so, I hope to continue to teach my adult children how to deal with life as effectively as they can, and to take the time to try and make a difference when it matters. Making a difference in working towards effective treatments and cures for Melanoma, now THAT matters!
If you choose, check out Skin of Steel. I guarantee it will matter.
Until next time,
Pam
Monday, July 9, 2012
What's Coming Next...
Hi!
What has been percolating around in this head of mine? I am excited to write later this week...
Pam
What has been percolating around in this head of mine? I am excited to write later this week...
Pam
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
What do you think?
Hi All...
Quick idea for today. What would you choose, having your kids or having more time?
Thoughts?
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Life and It's Stuff...
Hello...
Well...yes, it has been while since I wrote anything..
Life and it's stuff...you know we all go through stuff. I know that sounds random and maybe even a bit goofy, but it is a very true statement.
I used to think that as we got older life would sort of even out, it would be more calm, and more predictable...HA! What a ruse that was. Don't get me wrong here, I am not using this forum to complain or do any kind of "baby whiner" stuff here...just saying. Life...it is full...full of a lot of "stuff".
To illustrate my point. I was honored yesterday by a lovely group of women who took it upon themselves to throw a retirement party and celebration for myself, and my teaching partner. We have both chosen to step out of that role, and move onto another adventure in life. I had a lovely time, it was so kind and thoughtful of this group of younger women to do this for me. However, (remember I am going to try hard and not use the word but....) it was also sort of an out of body experience. Here I am, at a new point in life, yes I am happy with my decision, but the very word "retirement" makes me think WHAT??? Not that I have not given this a lot of thought, I have, but it is quite crazy to me that I am already at that point in my life. I am of course going to sound so cliche here, but oh well, when I say that I can hardly believe that I am ready and at that stage and age ....already...
So, what does this mean? I truly do not know. I have some vague idea of what I think I would like to do next, and how I would like to have this next phase in life evolve. I would even like to think that I am brave enough to say that I have it all figured out, but alas, that would be a big fat lie. There we have it, back to the title...Life and stuff.
I have been lucky enough to have reached this point in life, and have hopefully tried to live it well, with meaning and integrity and purpose. However, ( see I am sticking to my rule) I may be deluding myself. Who knows if that is truly the case? I hope it is, I would like to think it is. I do know that one of my greatest qualities, and maybe also biggest flaws, is that I truly do think a lot! I like to ponder and assess and evaluate and then decide. Sometimes it makes my head hurt. This gets in to the true crux of "Life and Stuff".
We all set out with a plan I think. An idea in our heads of what our life will be, and of course how we want it to evolve. I am truly blessed. My life so far, is quite lovely. Of course there have been less than stellar times along the way, and that is the "stuff" that happens. I also think that as my husband and I raised our kids, we were pretty blessed with the quality and type of relationship we had with our kids. Of course, we put a lot of time and energy into it. I know that at times I would even say I was a bit obsessive about trying hard to provide the exact quality parenting that would make my children have the type and kind of life I felt they deserved.....AND there we have more "stuff".
In the last few weeks I have had conversations with all three of my adult kids, well actually I talk with them quite a lot. Now this may surprise you, but I do not get to be in charge of ANYTHING that happens in their lives. That is a fact and also part of the
"stuff" in life. I had a delusion that if my husband and I did our job well, our kids lives would be perfect. Of course I am kidding when I say that, but one can hope, right? I actually have to admit that at times I even felt quite smug that I knew we were doing so many things right in our parenting, that our kids would be spared the big hurts of life. And...all of you smart people out there, know how wrong and misguided that thought was. Maybe I needed to think that because I really know that it does matter how much time and effort you put into guiding and helping your kids grow. Here it is though, more "stuff". Unfortunately, that is not how life works.
I do know that the longer I am around, I do feel like I am gaining wisdom. I do know that the phrase "this too shall pass" is true, but it actually does suck, (bad word) when you are in the middle of waiting for some thing to pass. I have had that experience myself in the last 6 weeks...a health thing, as of course many of us do throughout life, and yes it has passed and I am grateful.. Now onto my kids...
When your kids are hurting, or going through a time of challenge and growth, I do not care how old they are, you want to help fix it. The part that is hard, is that I can't do that. As much as I would like to, I can not solve or fix or change the situations in my kids lives that are hard, and cause them pain. I can add a measure of aid and wisdom I hope, but somehow that seems trivial...
When our kids are little, we can usually be their champion, their hero, their problem solver. When they are adults, we can not. I would like to say it is enough to provide good council, but honestly, for me it isn't. Just saying.... I would still like to be able to solve their hurts, and their worries, and the parts of their lives that are harder. Yet, I guess that "stuff" of life is theirs, and ultimately my ability to solve the problem would diminish their own self discovery. Yes, more "stuff". Each of us has the right and the challenge, and ultimately the joy of learning and growing and evolving on our own. I actually hate that part sometimes. No matter what I would like to think, that is how "life and stuff" works.
So, as I sit here at 11:21 at night in my p.j.s thinking about all this. I admit it. I do not know all the answers. I do not have the ability to see through a crystal ball and know what will happen and how all of "life and stuff" will turn out. I do know though that if I wait long enough, life will show the way. That is just how it is. I don't know if I will ever be able to completely give up the idea that I can affect change and outcomes though, somehow that would just seem wrong. As a Mom, I have to at least think I can help....right?
Until next time,
Pam
Well...yes, it has been while since I wrote anything..
Life and it's stuff...you know we all go through stuff. I know that sounds random and maybe even a bit goofy, but it is a very true statement.
I used to think that as we got older life would sort of even out, it would be more calm, and more predictable...HA! What a ruse that was. Don't get me wrong here, I am not using this forum to complain or do any kind of "baby whiner" stuff here...just saying. Life...it is full...full of a lot of "stuff".
To illustrate my point. I was honored yesterday by a lovely group of women who took it upon themselves to throw a retirement party and celebration for myself, and my teaching partner. We have both chosen to step out of that role, and move onto another adventure in life. I had a lovely time, it was so kind and thoughtful of this group of younger women to do this for me. However, (remember I am going to try hard and not use the word but....) it was also sort of an out of body experience. Here I am, at a new point in life, yes I am happy with my decision, but the very word "retirement" makes me think WHAT??? Not that I have not given this a lot of thought, I have, but it is quite crazy to me that I am already at that point in my life. I am of course going to sound so cliche here, but oh well, when I say that I can hardly believe that I am ready and at that stage and age ....already...
So, what does this mean? I truly do not know. I have some vague idea of what I think I would like to do next, and how I would like to have this next phase in life evolve. I would even like to think that I am brave enough to say that I have it all figured out, but alas, that would be a big fat lie. There we have it, back to the title...Life and stuff.
I have been lucky enough to have reached this point in life, and have hopefully tried to live it well, with meaning and integrity and purpose. However, ( see I am sticking to my rule) I may be deluding myself. Who knows if that is truly the case? I hope it is, I would like to think it is. I do know that one of my greatest qualities, and maybe also biggest flaws, is that I truly do think a lot! I like to ponder and assess and evaluate and then decide. Sometimes it makes my head hurt. This gets in to the true crux of "Life and Stuff".
We all set out with a plan I think. An idea in our heads of what our life will be, and of course how we want it to evolve. I am truly blessed. My life so far, is quite lovely. Of course there have been less than stellar times along the way, and that is the "stuff" that happens. I also think that as my husband and I raised our kids, we were pretty blessed with the quality and type of relationship we had with our kids. Of course, we put a lot of time and energy into it. I know that at times I would even say I was a bit obsessive about trying hard to provide the exact quality parenting that would make my children have the type and kind of life I felt they deserved.....AND there we have more "stuff".
In the last few weeks I have had conversations with all three of my adult kids, well actually I talk with them quite a lot. Now this may surprise you, but I do not get to be in charge of ANYTHING that happens in their lives. That is a fact and also part of the
"stuff" in life. I had a delusion that if my husband and I did our job well, our kids lives would be perfect. Of course I am kidding when I say that, but one can hope, right? I actually have to admit that at times I even felt quite smug that I knew we were doing so many things right in our parenting, that our kids would be spared the big hurts of life. And...all of you smart people out there, know how wrong and misguided that thought was. Maybe I needed to think that because I really know that it does matter how much time and effort you put into guiding and helping your kids grow. Here it is though, more "stuff". Unfortunately, that is not how life works.
I do know that the longer I am around, I do feel like I am gaining wisdom. I do know that the phrase "this too shall pass" is true, but it actually does suck, (bad word) when you are in the middle of waiting for some thing to pass. I have had that experience myself in the last 6 weeks...a health thing, as of course many of us do throughout life, and yes it has passed and I am grateful.. Now onto my kids...
When your kids are hurting, or going through a time of challenge and growth, I do not care how old they are, you want to help fix it. The part that is hard, is that I can't do that. As much as I would like to, I can not solve or fix or change the situations in my kids lives that are hard, and cause them pain. I can add a measure of aid and wisdom I hope, but somehow that seems trivial...
When our kids are little, we can usually be their champion, their hero, their problem solver. When they are adults, we can not. I would like to say it is enough to provide good council, but honestly, for me it isn't. Just saying.... I would still like to be able to solve their hurts, and their worries, and the parts of their lives that are harder. Yet, I guess that "stuff" of life is theirs, and ultimately my ability to solve the problem would diminish their own self discovery. Yes, more "stuff". Each of us has the right and the challenge, and ultimately the joy of learning and growing and evolving on our own. I actually hate that part sometimes. No matter what I would like to think, that is how "life and stuff" works.
So, as I sit here at 11:21 at night in my p.j.s thinking about all this. I admit it. I do not know all the answers. I do not have the ability to see through a crystal ball and know what will happen and how all of "life and stuff" will turn out. I do know though that if I wait long enough, life will show the way. That is just how it is. I don't know if I will ever be able to completely give up the idea that I can affect change and outcomes though, somehow that would just seem wrong. As a Mom, I have to at least think I can help....right?
Until next time,
Pam
Friday, February 24, 2012
Epic
Hello All!
Where to begin? I have been entrenched in wedding lalapalooza for the last 2 months. My, well I should accurately say, our because I certainly did not make her on my own, daughter got married last Saturday, February 18th, 2012. Our whole family has been working towards this date since December of 2010 when my son in law, Mr. Patrick Martins, officially asked our daughter, Anne, to marry him, and she said "yes".
I have written a number of blog posts since Anne and Patrick became engaged. I don't think I have talked about them a lot though, because there were probably some other things on my mind, or other ideas I had spinning around, or something like that. However, (remember I said I was eliminating the word "But" from my online vocab:) today it is allllllll about them and what they just did!
Since last December 2010 much has happened. Of course, regular life has progressed and evolved with all that that entails; work, school, travel, dinners, birthdays, holidays.... regular days...etc...... yet the underlying goal was to work towards February 18th 2012. Many, and I do mean MANY people were involved in creating just this one day. It was truly astounding how much time and thought and plain old sweat went into that one day. Any of you who have been lucky enough to be at that point in life where your child, now all grown up, says he or she is getting married, know what I am talking about.
Whenever I write these posts, I sit in our dining room. Today, as I write, I am surrounded by the files, and folders, and response cards, of wedding planning, and hundreds of photos of photo documentation of how the whole backdrop and landscape of the wedding evolved. Photos of a tent being constructed, and I use the word "tent" lightly because structure is more accurate. I have the evidence of how the whole event came to be. It was like a giant metamorphosis....a single beam, piece of canvas, and finally a magical landscape. Kind of like one of the children's books I love best, where a single egg laid on a leaf in the moonlight becomes a beautiful butterfly.
My husband and I arrived a week before the wedding at our home in the Florida Keys, which is where Anne and Patrick wanted to have their wedding. When we first arrived, it was dark and I had no idea of what was evolving in our backyard. When the next day dawned and we first glimpsed what was happening, we were in awe....the months of planning and designing and creating, were now happening. My husband then began his I-Pad assault. He started taking photos on his I-Pad of each step in the process. He sent numerous, ( and I do mean NUMEROUS) photos of this backyard transformation to everyone. Our son teased him that he could have actually bundled all the pictures together. My husband, of course, shared some choice words with him...and continued his assault! Anne, the bride, said that this is what happens when you give a 55 year old CEO and I -Pad! :) The process of building and constructing and creating continued for 7 days. ( Yikes! I just realized that sounds almost biblical.)
Throughout those 7 days, people began to arrive. Family, the bride and groom, the best man, the maid of honor, the chefs and kitchen staff, who are Anne and Patrick's friends, more close friends, more family , the officiant, and finally, the band. With the arrival of each new group of people, the excitement grew. We began to celebrate. We hosted dinners, and toasted and began to revel in the realization that Anne and Patrick were here...at this place...at this time. The answer of "Yes" to a single question, had led all of us to this tipping point.
Friday arrived. The day of the rehearsal, the time of final preparation. Patrick hosted the dinner on a beautiful beach. He, along with his Mother and friends, had prepared a spectacular venue for all of us. The night was beautiful, the stars were plentiful, the music was fun and upbeat, the love and friendship evident. The food, which was so important to both Patrick and Anne, prepared by their friends, was spectacular. Simple and delicious and perfect. Patrick, himself, helped serve as a gesture of gratitude to all who came and were there for him and for Anne. At the end of the evening, as Bill and I said goodnight and thanks to Patrick, he said, " OK, now I hand this off to the Saxelbys. Tomorrow is all you." We hugged him and promised him, we would do a good job.
Saturday dawned. It was a beautiful morning. The weather seemed to have a promise in it. A promise of beauty. My husband and I knew this was an epic day. Today we would give our daughter to the man she loves. As the morning continued, Anne woke up and we shared a cup of coffee together. She looked exhilarated and excited and gloriously happy. She began to have an extraordinary smile on her face that seemed to say everything, ''Today, I get to marry the man I love, the person I have been looking for, and now have found." That smile stayed on her face the entire day and afternoon and evening.
People began to arrive in swarms. Anne's sister, Megan, arrived. Her friends arrived. Hair and makeup people arrived. Food and drink arrived. The cake arrived with Anne's friend, Kelly, who began to put in together in the middle of our kitchen. People with flowers and linen and glass and candles and lights and more and more flowers arrived. Anne's brother and grandmother arrived. The tents began to become alive with color and light and beauty. A hupa was created, more flowers arrived. Lights were placed in hurricane jars along the path for the bridal party to enter. Lights were placed on the beach to light the water as dusk approached. Guests began to arrive, the band began to play and then, Magic happened.
I saw Patrick. He had arrived and was walking around with his friends and Best Man, Toby. Bill, my husband went down to see him. Bill said Patrick looked awed and delighted and happy. All was in place. It was time.
The music began. Grandmothers were seated, Patrick walked in with his Mother, she took her seat, and the rest of the wedding party began their arrival. Anne and Bill and I were upstairs on our porch watching all of this happen. Anne was hidden waiting for her moment to arrive. The music changed, and now Bill and I walked downstairs. The music changed again, and Anne walked down the stairs and came to meet us. We held hands, all 3 of us, and walked down the aisle to where Patrick was waiting for her. His smile was amazing, his look said it all, and Anne had never stopped smiling. Bill and then I hugged and kissed Anne and hugged and kissed Patrick. It was time for the ceremony to begin.
As the ceremony began, Brian, the officiant, asked for a moment. A moment for everyone to look around at the beauty and love that was in this place and time and be present. Be present, be alive, be aware. Everyone did. Anne and Patrick had written their own vows. As I listened to each of them share their words of love and joy and commitment to each other, my heart experienced an almost visible sense of joy. A sense that life had brought these 2 people to this place, this time, this moment. It became official. Brian said, "By the power vested in me by the State of Florida, I now pronounce you husband and wife!" Mayhem ensued. Whooping and yelling and flat out hollering began. Now it was time to celebrate and eat and drink and dance with joy, which of course we all did!
As I reach this point in my "epic" I chose to look up the definition of this word. The Oxford dictionary definition of "epic" is "Adventures of heroic figure etc." Well, I am going to go with this. The heroic figures in this epic adventure are Anne and Patrick. They have chosen to write their own script. And as anyone knows, adventure heros are strong and brave and loyal. I just wonder what color their hero suits will be?
Until next time,
Pam
(There you go Sarah. :) Let Emily and Alyssa know too.
Where to begin? I have been entrenched in wedding lalapalooza for the last 2 months. My, well I should accurately say, our because I certainly did not make her on my own, daughter got married last Saturday, February 18th, 2012. Our whole family has been working towards this date since December of 2010 when my son in law, Mr. Patrick Martins, officially asked our daughter, Anne, to marry him, and she said "yes".
I have written a number of blog posts since Anne and Patrick became engaged. I don't think I have talked about them a lot though, because there were probably some other things on my mind, or other ideas I had spinning around, or something like that. However, (remember I said I was eliminating the word "But" from my online vocab:) today it is allllllll about them and what they just did!
Since last December 2010 much has happened. Of course, regular life has progressed and evolved with all that that entails; work, school, travel, dinners, birthdays, holidays.... regular days...etc...... yet the underlying goal was to work towards February 18th 2012. Many, and I do mean MANY people were involved in creating just this one day. It was truly astounding how much time and thought and plain old sweat went into that one day. Any of you who have been lucky enough to be at that point in life where your child, now all grown up, says he or she is getting married, know what I am talking about.
Whenever I write these posts, I sit in our dining room. Today, as I write, I am surrounded by the files, and folders, and response cards, of wedding planning, and hundreds of photos of photo documentation of how the whole backdrop and landscape of the wedding evolved. Photos of a tent being constructed, and I use the word "tent" lightly because structure is more accurate. I have the evidence of how the whole event came to be. It was like a giant metamorphosis....a single beam, piece of canvas, and finally a magical landscape. Kind of like one of the children's books I love best, where a single egg laid on a leaf in the moonlight becomes a beautiful butterfly.
My husband and I arrived a week before the wedding at our home in the Florida Keys, which is where Anne and Patrick wanted to have their wedding. When we first arrived, it was dark and I had no idea of what was evolving in our backyard. When the next day dawned and we first glimpsed what was happening, we were in awe....the months of planning and designing and creating, were now happening. My husband then began his I-Pad assault. He started taking photos on his I-Pad of each step in the process. He sent numerous, ( and I do mean NUMEROUS) photos of this backyard transformation to everyone. Our son teased him that he could have actually bundled all the pictures together. My husband, of course, shared some choice words with him...and continued his assault! Anne, the bride, said that this is what happens when you give a 55 year old CEO and I -Pad! :) The process of building and constructing and creating continued for 7 days. ( Yikes! I just realized that sounds almost biblical.)
Throughout those 7 days, people began to arrive. Family, the bride and groom, the best man, the maid of honor, the chefs and kitchen staff, who are Anne and Patrick's friends, more close friends, more family , the officiant, and finally, the band. With the arrival of each new group of people, the excitement grew. We began to celebrate. We hosted dinners, and toasted and began to revel in the realization that Anne and Patrick were here...at this place...at this time. The answer of "Yes" to a single question, had led all of us to this tipping point.
Friday arrived. The day of the rehearsal, the time of final preparation. Patrick hosted the dinner on a beautiful beach. He, along with his Mother and friends, had prepared a spectacular venue for all of us. The night was beautiful, the stars were plentiful, the music was fun and upbeat, the love and friendship evident. The food, which was so important to both Patrick and Anne, prepared by their friends, was spectacular. Simple and delicious and perfect. Patrick, himself, helped serve as a gesture of gratitude to all who came and were there for him and for Anne. At the end of the evening, as Bill and I said goodnight and thanks to Patrick, he said, " OK, now I hand this off to the Saxelbys. Tomorrow is all you." We hugged him and promised him, we would do a good job.
Saturday dawned. It was a beautiful morning. The weather seemed to have a promise in it. A promise of beauty. My husband and I knew this was an epic day. Today we would give our daughter to the man she loves. As the morning continued, Anne woke up and we shared a cup of coffee together. She looked exhilarated and excited and gloriously happy. She began to have an extraordinary smile on her face that seemed to say everything, ''Today, I get to marry the man I love, the person I have been looking for, and now have found." That smile stayed on her face the entire day and afternoon and evening.
People began to arrive in swarms. Anne's sister, Megan, arrived. Her friends arrived. Hair and makeup people arrived. Food and drink arrived. The cake arrived with Anne's friend, Kelly, who began to put in together in the middle of our kitchen. People with flowers and linen and glass and candles and lights and more and more flowers arrived. Anne's brother and grandmother arrived. The tents began to become alive with color and light and beauty. A hupa was created, more flowers arrived. Lights were placed in hurricane jars along the path for the bridal party to enter. Lights were placed on the beach to light the water as dusk approached. Guests began to arrive, the band began to play and then, Magic happened.
I saw Patrick. He had arrived and was walking around with his friends and Best Man, Toby. Bill, my husband went down to see him. Bill said Patrick looked awed and delighted and happy. All was in place. It was time.
The music began. Grandmothers were seated, Patrick walked in with his Mother, she took her seat, and the rest of the wedding party began their arrival. Anne and Bill and I were upstairs on our porch watching all of this happen. Anne was hidden waiting for her moment to arrive. The music changed, and now Bill and I walked downstairs. The music changed again, and Anne walked down the stairs and came to meet us. We held hands, all 3 of us, and walked down the aisle to where Patrick was waiting for her. His smile was amazing, his look said it all, and Anne had never stopped smiling. Bill and then I hugged and kissed Anne and hugged and kissed Patrick. It was time for the ceremony to begin.
As the ceremony began, Brian, the officiant, asked for a moment. A moment for everyone to look around at the beauty and love that was in this place and time and be present. Be present, be alive, be aware. Everyone did. Anne and Patrick had written their own vows. As I listened to each of them share their words of love and joy and commitment to each other, my heart experienced an almost visible sense of joy. A sense that life had brought these 2 people to this place, this time, this moment. It became official. Brian said, "By the power vested in me by the State of Florida, I now pronounce you husband and wife!" Mayhem ensued. Whooping and yelling and flat out hollering began. Now it was time to celebrate and eat and drink and dance with joy, which of course we all did!
As I reach this point in my "epic" I chose to look up the definition of this word. The Oxford dictionary definition of "epic" is "Adventures of heroic figure etc." Well, I am going to go with this. The heroic figures in this epic adventure are Anne and Patrick. They have chosen to write their own script. And as anyone knows, adventure heros are strong and brave and loyal. I just wonder what color their hero suits will be?
Until next time,
Pam
(There you go Sarah. :) Let Emily and Alyssa know too.
Monday, January 9, 2012
My Husband's Mirror
Hello All!
Happy New Year! I know that I get inspired each year around this time to think about what I can do differently in my life. What can I do that would make a difference in how my life works? This morning, actually just a little bit ago, I was upstairs drying my hair, (yes, it was late morning...I made a choice to try and work out hard...that is another one of my decisions as the new year begins) and I was looking at the mirror above my husband's sink. For anyone, like my kids who have been up there, and a few family members, it is a place of inspiration.
My Husband's mirror...a place, a spot of inspiration. I tease him that very soon he won't actually be able to use his mirror for it's actual intended purpose...to look at himself. But, maybe, what he is actually doing is trying to make himself look more closely, see what is important, not just if he shaved well that day.
I noticed this morning, that he had added a new item. See, his mirror is covered with articles, photos, notes of inspiration, cards, and pictures, and his newest addition is the cover of a recent Sports Illustrated. On this cover, is a photo of a young man from the Rutgers Football team who was severely injured. He is now in a wheel chair, and to be honest, I do not know exactly what his whole story is, but the title beneath his photo is the word "Choice".
Choice, a simple word, but perhaps not such a simple action. I decided to look up the official definition of the word "Choice". On the same page, maybe not too coincidentally is the word "Choke"...:) "Choice* noun* act of choosing; thing or person chosen; range to choose from; power to choose* adjective*of superior quality."
"Of superior quality"...what a phrase! That must be the idea behind the Sports Illustrated Staff choosing this young man as their cover. He has made the choice to move forward, make his life what he can, the best that he can, and choose to keep going, and growing and evolving. He has chosen to be "of superior quality". I feel humbled.
I am thinking about how to now myself be" of superior quality". How can I live that...I guess that means one thing for sure, that I have to stop being a baby whiner about some things in my life, like the fact that I wish I could see my kids more often and have Sunday dinners together, or maybe be in a warmer climate more, or maybe be 10 pounds skinnier...worrying about that stuff is NOT going to make me a person "of superior quality" :) So, what do I do? I guess I am going to have to choose, decide, make a choice.
As this new year revs up, I am going to try hard to choose well. To be a person of "superior quality" means I have to think about what I can do to accomplish that in all the areas of my life where it matters, and, I suppose that would be in each area; my personal life, my physical life, my spiritual life, my professional life, and family life. I guess I am going to have to be in charge of myself, take good care of myself, grow professionally, and take good care of my family. Maybe I have to continue to figure out how to make "I" and "We" and "Us" all work. How to be a woman and wife to be proud of, a teacher that inspires, a friend that helps, a daughter who cares, and in one of my most important roles, a mother that is stellar. A mother that chooses to continue to evolve well and grow with her kids, a parent who chooses to see what is needed at each stage, and makes the choices needed to help each of her kids, now all adults, as needed and as wanted, which can even require doing nothing! Letting my children be...with the knowledge that they are able and competent and strong enough to choose for themselves.
My Husband's mirror...I think I may need to take the time to look at it more!
Until next time and Happy New Year,
Pam
Happy New Year! I know that I get inspired each year around this time to think about what I can do differently in my life. What can I do that would make a difference in how my life works? This morning, actually just a little bit ago, I was upstairs drying my hair, (yes, it was late morning...I made a choice to try and work out hard...that is another one of my decisions as the new year begins) and I was looking at the mirror above my husband's sink. For anyone, like my kids who have been up there, and a few family members, it is a place of inspiration.
My Husband's mirror...a place, a spot of inspiration. I tease him that very soon he won't actually be able to use his mirror for it's actual intended purpose...to look at himself. But, maybe, what he is actually doing is trying to make himself look more closely, see what is important, not just if he shaved well that day.
I noticed this morning, that he had added a new item. See, his mirror is covered with articles, photos, notes of inspiration, cards, and pictures, and his newest addition is the cover of a recent Sports Illustrated. On this cover, is a photo of a young man from the Rutgers Football team who was severely injured. He is now in a wheel chair, and to be honest, I do not know exactly what his whole story is, but the title beneath his photo is the word "Choice".
Choice, a simple word, but perhaps not such a simple action. I decided to look up the official definition of the word "Choice". On the same page, maybe not too coincidentally is the word "Choke"...:) "Choice* noun* act of choosing; thing or person chosen; range to choose from; power to choose* adjective*of superior quality."
"Of superior quality"...what a phrase! That must be the idea behind the Sports Illustrated Staff choosing this young man as their cover. He has made the choice to move forward, make his life what he can, the best that he can, and choose to keep going, and growing and evolving. He has chosen to be "of superior quality". I feel humbled.
I am thinking about how to now myself be" of superior quality". How can I live that...I guess that means one thing for sure, that I have to stop being a baby whiner about some things in my life, like the fact that I wish I could see my kids more often and have Sunday dinners together, or maybe be in a warmer climate more, or maybe be 10 pounds skinnier...worrying about that stuff is NOT going to make me a person "of superior quality" :) So, what do I do? I guess I am going to have to choose, decide, make a choice.
As this new year revs up, I am going to try hard to choose well. To be a person of "superior quality" means I have to think about what I can do to accomplish that in all the areas of my life where it matters, and, I suppose that would be in each area; my personal life, my physical life, my spiritual life, my professional life, and family life. I guess I am going to have to be in charge of myself, take good care of myself, grow professionally, and take good care of my family. Maybe I have to continue to figure out how to make "I" and "We" and "Us" all work. How to be a woman and wife to be proud of, a teacher that inspires, a friend that helps, a daughter who cares, and in one of my most important roles, a mother that is stellar. A mother that chooses to continue to evolve well and grow with her kids, a parent who chooses to see what is needed at each stage, and makes the choices needed to help each of her kids, now all adults, as needed and as wanted, which can even require doing nothing! Letting my children be...with the knowledge that they are able and competent and strong enough to choose for themselves.
My Husband's mirror...I think I may need to take the time to look at it more!
Until next time and Happy New Year,
Pam
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