Hi All...
Woo Hoo to my youngest daughter as she drives cross country ....by herself!
Woo Hoo to all parents who in spite of their own need to control things :) (like me)...
embrace their children's (even when they are grown ups and you can at best have an opinion)
goals and aspirations and plans.
Until my next thought,
Pam
Friday, June 14, 2013
Friday, June 7, 2013
Reaping the Rewards...
Hello!
Last weekend I got to watch the fruits of our efforts pay off....I've always told our kids, as did my husband, that they have to take good care of each other. I have also told them that if they don't, I will figure out how to come back from the grave at the appropriate time :) and haunt them mercilessly if they do not. Just saying.....
So...they listened!
Megan, our youngest daughter moved last weekend from one home to another in the Cleveland area and as we were helping her, her brother and his wife surprised her ( they had driven 8 hours from New York) and showed up at her new home just in time to help with lots of "grunt" work. The lovely look of joy and sheer glee on her face when they arrived, was spectacular!
So....just saying... after you do alllllll the work required while raising your kids, it is a blast to watch and enjoy and share in the fun!
If it is one of those days with your kids, just know that by putting in the time when they are young, it pays off!
Until next time,
Pam
Last weekend I got to watch the fruits of our efforts pay off....I've always told our kids, as did my husband, that they have to take good care of each other. I have also told them that if they don't, I will figure out how to come back from the grave at the appropriate time :) and haunt them mercilessly if they do not. Just saying.....
So...they listened!
Megan, our youngest daughter moved last weekend from one home to another in the Cleveland area and as we were helping her, her brother and his wife surprised her ( they had driven 8 hours from New York) and showed up at her new home just in time to help with lots of "grunt" work. The lovely look of joy and sheer glee on her face when they arrived, was spectacular!
So....just saying... after you do alllllll the work required while raising your kids, it is a blast to watch and enjoy and share in the fun!
If it is one of those days with your kids, just know that by putting in the time when they are young, it pays off!
Until next time,
Pam
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Have they lost their minds? Just saying
Goodmorning!
This will be short.
I am listening to the Today show and the next segment is about "No Punishment Parenting" which has made me think that maybe I am getting cranky, or people have lost their minds.
Call me crazy, but I think parents have to be able to set limits and boundaries for their kids. It is one of the most important jobs we have. They can't do it on their own.
That's it!
Until next time,
Pam
This will be short.
I am listening to the Today show and the next segment is about "No Punishment Parenting" which has made me think that maybe I am getting cranky, or people have lost their minds.
Call me crazy, but I think parents have to be able to set limits and boundaries for their kids. It is one of the most important jobs we have. They can't do it on their own.
That's it!
Until next time,
Pam
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
It's not complicated....And, yes it really is
Hello All,
I first tried to write this entry after I came back from sitting on a bench in Brooklyn New York. That was two weeks ago. My first attempt began as I was sitting in the apartment that my husband and I have rented in Brooklyn, on my I-Pad, and it was annoying. I could get the typing portion of my I-Pad to work only when I put the title in, maybe it was trying to tell me it was a bad title because I have changed it here. I started with the idea that parenting and life could be uncomplicated if we allowed it, and then realized that there may be some people far more than me, but I think for most of us, even if we practice Zen like thinking and advanced Yoga, that life and parenting are often QUITE complicated.
The idea for this post began, like I said, while I was sitting on a bench two blocks from our New York apartment eating a muffin and enjoying coffee early one morning. I was watching all the life beginning to emerge around me. At first it was lovely and quiet and then the pace picked up. I started seeing the day begin, for real. In the section of Brooklyn that we rent in, there are many families and lots of them with young children. I observed Moms and Dads taking their kids to school. Many stopped at the same place I was at to get a morning treat and beverage. The kids all looked pretty excited because I was sitting outside a bakery. Actually, the complicated part probably started right there....healthy breakfast items??? Hmmmm...that is not why I was there.
It was fun and entertaining and actually sociologically informative watching all these groups and sets of people. Some Parents were very engaged with their kids, some were very distracted and one was outright frazzled. I myself have been in all of these states with my children during that early part of their lives, and maybe I even am at some points these days! Watching all these people made me think that truly, every parent wants the same things. They want their children to be healthy and well, smart, socially adjusted, good people, successful at life. That is probably where the uncomplicated piece stops....cause we all know how we get to that point, and how our children (hopefully) get to that point, is the complicated part.
As my observing continued, one Mom sat down and shared my bench. You guys know me, I am nice, for the most part, and offered her a place....she was the frazzled Mom. She had just gotten her daughter a muffin and raced her off to school, preshool...so of course we talked about that, and then came back with her young son and got him a muffin, herself a BIG coffee and sat down on the lovely bench we shared. Conversation began, and she told me her son had just been so sick, and she had to get her daughter to school and was happy to sit down for a minute or two. She had not been able to even take a shower yet, and was just glad her son was better. He had had a bad upper-respiratory infection and even had to have a brief stint in the hospital. So naturally, of course, she was still recovering as well. And that is how life and parenting gets complicated. You just never know what will be.
So, today when the complication arises, or if it happens to be one of the lovely days ZERO complications arise, go with it. Know that you will take care of anything you have to, that you can do it, that love will guide you, and when as the old saying goes "this too shall pass" and it has, have a large coffee, sit on a nice bench and enjoy life. Celebrate all the small, common, every day parts of life and smile. It will fortify you for "the next time"!
Life must be pretty complicated for me today, cause I still haven't taken a shower! :)
Until next time.
Pam
I first tried to write this entry after I came back from sitting on a bench in Brooklyn New York. That was two weeks ago. My first attempt began as I was sitting in the apartment that my husband and I have rented in Brooklyn, on my I-Pad, and it was annoying. I could get the typing portion of my I-Pad to work only when I put the title in, maybe it was trying to tell me it was a bad title because I have changed it here. I started with the idea that parenting and life could be uncomplicated if we allowed it, and then realized that there may be some people far more than me, but I think for most of us, even if we practice Zen like thinking and advanced Yoga, that life and parenting are often QUITE complicated.
The idea for this post began, like I said, while I was sitting on a bench two blocks from our New York apartment eating a muffin and enjoying coffee early one morning. I was watching all the life beginning to emerge around me. At first it was lovely and quiet and then the pace picked up. I started seeing the day begin, for real. In the section of Brooklyn that we rent in, there are many families and lots of them with young children. I observed Moms and Dads taking their kids to school. Many stopped at the same place I was at to get a morning treat and beverage. The kids all looked pretty excited because I was sitting outside a bakery. Actually, the complicated part probably started right there....healthy breakfast items??? Hmmmm...that is not why I was there.
It was fun and entertaining and actually sociologically informative watching all these groups and sets of people. Some Parents were very engaged with their kids, some were very distracted and one was outright frazzled. I myself have been in all of these states with my children during that early part of their lives, and maybe I even am at some points these days! Watching all these people made me think that truly, every parent wants the same things. They want their children to be healthy and well, smart, socially adjusted, good people, successful at life. That is probably where the uncomplicated piece stops....cause we all know how we get to that point, and how our children (hopefully) get to that point, is the complicated part.
As my observing continued, one Mom sat down and shared my bench. You guys know me, I am nice, for the most part, and offered her a place....she was the frazzled Mom. She had just gotten her daughter a muffin and raced her off to school, preshool...so of course we talked about that, and then came back with her young son and got him a muffin, herself a BIG coffee and sat down on the lovely bench we shared. Conversation began, and she told me her son had just been so sick, and she had to get her daughter to school and was happy to sit down for a minute or two. She had not been able to even take a shower yet, and was just glad her son was better. He had had a bad upper-respiratory infection and even had to have a brief stint in the hospital. So naturally, of course, she was still recovering as well. And that is how life and parenting gets complicated. You just never know what will be.
So, today when the complication arises, or if it happens to be one of the lovely days ZERO complications arise, go with it. Know that you will take care of anything you have to, that you can do it, that love will guide you, and when as the old saying goes "this too shall pass" and it has, have a large coffee, sit on a nice bench and enjoy life. Celebrate all the small, common, every day parts of life and smile. It will fortify you for "the next time"!
Life must be pretty complicated for me today, cause I still haven't taken a shower! :)
Until next time.
Pam
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Periodically crazy
Hello All!
I do not know about any of you, but periodically I am sure that I am certifiable!
As my kids were growing up, I wanted to teach them by being a good example. I subscribe to the thought that my kids should see me as someone they could emulate. My Dad use to say "Do as I say, not as I do." I think that can work out o.k. for the most part, yet I am really striving to be the "Do as I Do" person.
Last time I was in New York visiting out oldest daughter and my new grandson and her husband, I was really thinking about trying to be laid back and follow their lead, and hope that I was cool...I think I did that. One night I had the chance to just be with my daughter, and the lovely Max, who soon went to bed. She asked me what I would change about myself.... and AH HA...there you have it. I had to reveal what my "crazy" is, and of course she already knew it. I am neurotic about health issues. I always think the worst, and so have a hard time not imagining the absolute worst...( of course last year I got whacked a bit along those lines, but it all got resolved) and I told her, I wish that I could change how I think, and that I am constantly working on that!! Trying to stop the crazy voice in my own head!
You know, each and every one of us is flawed. Even me... :)
So, if you take anything away from these posts, I would hope that you appreciate that by trying hard and being real and working at being a good parent, your adult daughter (adult children) will love you always and respect what is important. She will know you and appreciate the fact that even when she outs you by naming the crazy part of you....she knows you have tried hard and will continue to, to be the parent that is attempting to be wise, helpful, real and evolving throughout each and every part of life!
We parents don't have to be perfect. We just have to try!
I guess THAT is a good lesson in itself!
Until next time,
Pam
Monday, March 25, 2013
Family Style
Hello All!
So, by family style I don't mean buffet!
Last night we were at a family birthday dinner for our oldest daughter, Anne. She had invited a good friend of hers along. We were enjoying dinner, and celebrating. We laughed a lot and told stories about our family and my daughter's husband's family and my daughter in law Megan's family and then... we got to the part of the evening where it was coffee time.
My husband likes his coffee super sweet...and we keep trying to have him give up Sweet and Low, (not with much success) so Anne's mother in law pulled out a container of small pills that are a sweetener she carries from Europe. She passed the container over to Bill ( my husband) and this is where it got interesting. Anne commented that it looked like we were passing small drugs out... and then she proceeded to share with her friend, Katlyn, ( sorry Caitlin?) the story of her brother's run in with me, his mother about an hysterical misunderstanding that happened in his senior year of high school. Surmise it to say that I accused him of all sorts of things due to circumstantial evidence, and really put his feet to the fire...not literally of course, I do pride myself on being a good Mom! The story involved police and hospitals and lots and lots of me yelling at our son, Bill.
Katlyn, at this point, was in hysterics. She said that at her house, if this would have happened, her Mom or Dad or someone would have thrown all the contraband out, and that would have been it. They never would have taken it to the level that I chose to...AND there we go! Family Styles!
I like to pride myself on that fact that my husband and I have succeeded at raising 3 competent, smart, caring and quality individuals. Yes, of course that is my opinion, but here, it is the only one that counts! (I have though, received independent collaboration) Here is the point: I truly believe that kids need all they can get from us in terms of guidance and clear vision and accountability. I guess some kids will turn out fine without that, and maybe they are genetically wired to be successful no matter what, but I think (yes I used the crazy word "but") without parents who hold their kids accountable and set limits and boundaries and actually discipline them, society would be complete anarchy!
So, today if your kid does something bad, or you are not sure if he has done something bad, or you are thinking her may have done something bad....BUST HIM! Kids need us to show them the way to be. The way to be responsible and accountable. They have plenty of friends, and only 1 set of parents.
Be the bad guy when you should!!
You'll have great stories to share later!
Until next time,
Pam
So, by family style I don't mean buffet!
Last night we were at a family birthday dinner for our oldest daughter, Anne. She had invited a good friend of hers along. We were enjoying dinner, and celebrating. We laughed a lot and told stories about our family and my daughter's husband's family and my daughter in law Megan's family and then... we got to the part of the evening where it was coffee time.
My husband likes his coffee super sweet...and we keep trying to have him give up Sweet and Low, (not with much success) so Anne's mother in law pulled out a container of small pills that are a sweetener she carries from Europe. She passed the container over to Bill ( my husband) and this is where it got interesting. Anne commented that it looked like we were passing small drugs out... and then she proceeded to share with her friend, Katlyn, ( sorry Caitlin?) the story of her brother's run in with me, his mother about an hysterical misunderstanding that happened in his senior year of high school. Surmise it to say that I accused him of all sorts of things due to circumstantial evidence, and really put his feet to the fire...not literally of course, I do pride myself on being a good Mom! The story involved police and hospitals and lots and lots of me yelling at our son, Bill.
Katlyn, at this point, was in hysterics. She said that at her house, if this would have happened, her Mom or Dad or someone would have thrown all the contraband out, and that would have been it. They never would have taken it to the level that I chose to...AND there we go! Family Styles!
I like to pride myself on that fact that my husband and I have succeeded at raising 3 competent, smart, caring and quality individuals. Yes, of course that is my opinion, but here, it is the only one that counts! (I have though, received independent collaboration) Here is the point: I truly believe that kids need all they can get from us in terms of guidance and clear vision and accountability. I guess some kids will turn out fine without that, and maybe they are genetically wired to be successful no matter what, but I think (yes I used the crazy word "but") without parents who hold their kids accountable and set limits and boundaries and actually discipline them, society would be complete anarchy!
So, today if your kid does something bad, or you are not sure if he has done something bad, or you are thinking her may have done something bad....BUST HIM! Kids need us to show them the way to be. The way to be responsible and accountable. They have plenty of friends, and only 1 set of parents.
Be the bad guy when you should!!
You'll have great stories to share later!
Until next time,
Pam
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Tonight
Hello!
I sit here tonight thinking about going to New York tomorrow to visit with the lovely Max, our grandson and I wonder....how does life go so very fast? I think of my grandmother who used to say that time went faster the older you became.... Well, I think she was right!
Here's to enjoying and participating and being present in every minute, even the ones we would like to forget!
Enjoy!
Pam
I sit here tonight thinking about going to New York tomorrow to visit with the lovely Max, our grandson and I wonder....how does life go so very fast? I think of my grandmother who used to say that time went faster the older you became.... Well, I think she was right!
Here's to enjoying and participating and being present in every minute, even the ones we would like to forget!
Enjoy!
Pam
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