So, I have decided that being imperfect is just fine, that it’s a growth opportunity for me.

I screwed up today.

Yup, I did.

I don’t like to screw up, some people may get a kick out of it, but I don’t.  Maybe it comes from being the oldest child.  There is something to that, first born children are usually people pleasers.

Well however I have come by trying to be perfect, I am giving it up.  Actually I have been trying to give it up for, oh, say all my life!

So, I think today is the day.  Time to call it… that’s it!

I found a sign that I put up,  “Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful.”

I would bet that lots of people struggle with this perfection thing…so maybe we could all decide to let it go together! 

Maybe a national “Give Perfect a Boot day!”

Ok, I’ll stop.

But, truly trying to find the right way to live your life, a way that is mostly good, mostly kind, mostly honest can be hard.

Each day we get a fresh start, a chance to try again.

That can be the beauty of messing up.  Knowing that you get to try again tomorrow.

Actually, it is through the mistakes we make, that we learn the most.

It’s not fun to mess up, but it’s good for us.

Trying to live your life in a state of perfection is first, impossible, and second not nearly as interesting.

Allowing ourselves the right to periodically mess up, screw up, make a mistake, gives us the chance to learn and grow.

That’s what little children do every day.  Imagine what would happen if a child never tried to figure out how to do anything unless it was perfect.

Wouldn’t happen… actually it will never happen.

Kids demonstrate day after day that they are working, learning, evolving… as they take their first breath, learn to sit up, learn to crawl, learn to walk…etc!

We would all be big slugs if we chose to give up when we didn’t do something perfect… we’d still be waiting for someone to feed us and carry us around!

So, I guess in all of this, I am doing some personal self-help.  Allowing myself the intelligent thought that perfect is not even a remote possibility… and not even something that is good for us humans.

We need to mess up… or we would never learn.

Until next time,

Pam

The whole idea of control…

Hello!

I have been thinking about the idea of control…

If you are like me, and I like to think I’m fairly normal, I truly like to control a lot of things in life.

The problem with that is, that I spend a variety of time trying to figure out just how to do that.

You can make plans, and have plans, and set up schedules… and then see what happens.

Sometimes I am happily surprised that everything goes according to the plan…. BUT often that may not be the case.

Flexibility… I think that must be key.

I have decided that I need to work on that more…

I know some people who are quite good at that.

They roll with life, they don’t let too much stress them out, and they seem to do quite well…

If you’re reading this right now… are you one of those people?

Or… are you more like me? 

Secretly wanting to be able to control lots of life?  Trying to sound wise and Zen when you talk with others, or even say, write a blog?

I try to counsel others to enjoy life, not stress too much, let go, smell the roses all that stuff.

Of course, all of that is great and when you can do it… BRAVO!!

Yet, if you truly are a closet control freak, (I think many of us are) or just a plain out in the open control freak… ask yourself this question…

Does it make life better, or does it make you crazy?

I’m beginning to think it makes me crazy…

Maybe I can redefine control like this:

C- confident

O- optimistic

N- nice

T- thankful

R- relaxed

O- open minded

L- loving

Hmmm…

When I think about the word like this… it takes on a different meaning.

This kind of control might just work for me…

We’ll see…

Until next time,

Pam

Spring Cleaning...

Hi!

I’ve been thinking about Spring… we are dangerously close.

Having grown up in the Mid-West, and having lived there for most of my life, I know the wild anticipation of Spring. 

It was palpable!

It was the signal that our local Dairy Queen would soon be opening…  a seasonal rite of passage… warm weather was coming.

As a kid, once we hit 45 degrees, after a long winter, all bets were off... shorts would soon be the new daily norm…

Now, as an adult, I have chosen to nix the whole winter thing and spend winters in a warm place…maybe I am getting wiser!

But, I digress…

I’m thinking as warm weather returns, and the days get longer, it’s a time for renewal.

What kinds of things do you want to change, add, remove or do differently in your life?

How about your kids' lives?

I’m thinking this is a great time of year for a family Spring cleaning… out with the old, in with the new.

At dinner, start a family discussion about what everyone is doing and what’s going on in their lives. 

Each age group, will of course, have different thoughts about this sharing… little kids will be very open, pre teens, and teenagers… maybe not so much, but keep trying!

By starting the discussion, opening the opportunity for change, you are letting the family dialogue grow, providing a setting for renewal and growth.

My grandmother used this great line, “The only thing constant in life is change.”  And, as I evolve each year in my own life, I know this to be true.

Each family member could share one thing that they thought was going really well in their lives, and one thing they wanted to improve or change.

By starting this discussion, and I think earlier in life is better, you plant the idea that change, growth, and evolving, are just a normal and healthy part of life.

As parents, we get the chance to demonstrate our own willingness to be candid, honest, and model behavior for our kids that we know is healthy and necessary.

Out with the old, in with the new… change, evolve, grow.

Help kids know that change, growth, renewal is inevitable and embrace the power in that!

That’s it…

Oh, and then go to Dairy Queen, if you have one in your area, and continue the discussion on a nice picnic bench!

Until next time,

Pam

p.s.  Happy Spring!

How’s Your 2016 Going?

Hi!

I wrote a blog post near the end of January.  I was thinking about the New Year and what I hope to achieve and accomplish.

I shared that I used to be quite specific on a variety of categories that I set goals for.

This year, as I shared, I only thought about 3 things: Life, Love and Health.

How are you doing so far with your goals?

I think it’s helpful to pause each month and reflect.  See how you’re doing.

Is your life evolving the way you had hoped? 

If not, what can you do about it?

There’s a great book that I refer to periodically.   It’s called “mindset: The New Psychology of Success”, by Carol Dweck.

As we live our lives, our mindset can make a huge difference in what we achieve and become.

We don’t have to always be happy.  It can make you anxious to try and be happy all the time.  That’s not realistic.

Did you ever wonder what would happen if when someone asked the common polite question, “How are you?” you launched into what may really be going on in your life?

It could be a lot of fun! 

Mindset  helps with the realty of life, and speaks to what we have in our own power to control.

We all spend time in our own heads… that self- talk that is constant.

What mindset offers is way to approach life inside out.  Start with the talk that goes on in your own head.  Assess, analyze and adjust your way of looking at things.

By the simple act of adjusting your approach, your mindset, you have the chance to truly change your own life.

I am not speaking about positive thinking. 

Positive thinking is useful, but as I know for myself, sometimes I can get trapped in that… what changing your mindset does, is manage your approach to life. 

If now that it is February 16^th, 2016, the first month of the year is done, we are halfway though the second, and you are feeling you’d like to tweak, adjust, or change parts of your life, check this book out.

Mindset:  it’s useful and easy to read.

I know that for my first big goal of 2016, LIFE, this book has made a difference.  It’s a great tool to help reset your thoughts,  manage your life, and design your personal  approach to your own life.

Here’s to finding your way well!

Until next time,

Pam